My New BFF

It's fun. It's entertaining. It beckons to me 24/7.

It's my Kindle Fire the Evil Twin got me for Christmas! A friend turned me on to a site that offers a handful of free Kindle books every day. I don't always see anything on there that really "grabs" me, but when I do, I download it right away (they're not free for long).

At this point. I've downloaded so much, it's mind boggling.

Unfortunately, I don't have all the time in the world to sit and read - I would LIKE to, but I can't. So, the free books sit on there, mocking me.

Amazon also offers a "Kindle Deal of the Day" where they'll feature a book for .99. I've actually bought a few of those, simply because they're super cheap AND a book I've been wanting to read or a book I know I would enjoy to read.

After all these years of me being a prolific reader, I know my tastes. I will read fiction, but it has to have a plot line or summary that appeals to me. I'm not much on the romance or thrillers or "beach reads". What can I say....I like something with some substance besides just being entertainment.

I also like autobiographies and non-fiction.

I need peace and quiet, so I can concentrate. I can burn through a 600 page tome in about 2 days if the elements line up in my favor. I've been known to stay awake until 4 am because I couldn't put a book down and I just HAD to find out the ending.

I've also read books that bored me to the brink of death. But, ya know what? I won't quit until I get to the end to see if something remarkable happens. Often, it's just a waste of my time devoted to some pathetic waste of paper.

That's one more reason I like my Kindle. And, it's the main reason I thought I wouldn't like it. It's not a book with pages. I have tons of books in this house. I've read them all, but you wouldn't know it by their appearance. I don't bend the spines and I don't dog ear the pages. If it came with a dust jacket, that is pulled off and set in a safe place until I'm finished.

However, I was surprised by how likable the Kindle was. It's the perfect size to put in my purse and with one swipe of a finger, I "turn" the pages. I don't have to worry about getting cheetos or chocolate on a page or accidentally ripping a page.

Apparently, I come by my reverence for books honestly. My biological mom grew up the same way and I've passed it on to my children. "Don't leave books out where the corners will get all wonky." "Don't eat or drink things that might leave the cover looking like someone ate fried chicken off of it." "Don't EVER write in a book." (unless it's a college textbook, and then that's fine...everyone does it.) Besides, you get to sell it back at the end of the semester for approximately 1/50th of the original price - even if it was used before you got it.

There ya have it: I have a love/hate relationship with the Kindle. I love it because it has opened up a whole new way for me to enjoy reading and I don't even have to visit a bookstore. But, I hate it because I can't cradle it lovingly in my hands and spend hours reading.

The kids have an early out today, so I'm gonna hang with them for the afternoon and listen to crazy Pokemon talk. I don't get it, but if they're getting along, I'm all for it.

Happy Wednesday, hooligans!

Love,

Da Blahs

Yep, still in my "pitiful me" funk and it doesn't really help that my sinuses are a mess and my ickle tummy hurts...

Ah, well, at least the sun is out and it's sorta warm today. I can handle that.

A few weeks ago, we bought a Brita filter - the kind that goes onto the faucet. It's pretty neato. The water does taste lots better.

I also picked up one of those new toilet spray things (you know, you step on the little pedal and it sprays cleaner all around the underside of the toilet.) The jury is still out on that. I mean, it looks kind of weird sitting there on the bathroom floor.

Whatever type of spray it is, it does smell really good. Which is a big plus because that's the bathroom most used - and we're talking The Evil Twin, Buddy and all of his friends. And we all know how stinky a bathroom can get with those of the male gender using it all the time. Sissy is a bit better about things, but sometimes sits too close to the front... and oops, pee goes down the side.

Then, yours truly has to do a "clean up on aisle 7." This type of situation usually happens when I am busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest.

There ya go, product reports about two things I'd never tried before.

Even though I feel kinda puny, I have to go to the store later. The poor cat is beside herself because her food bowl is empty. Nevermind that I gave her a can of food this morning(she usually only gets the dry kind) and she's fat as a pig and could stand to miss a few meals.

Have a good Monday, hooligans!

Love,

Blase'

I've been feeling a bit "ho-hum" lately. It's not for a lack of things to keep me occupied and the weather has been unseasonably warm recently.

In fact, I think it's the busy-ness of life that is just wearing me out. I'm so glad it's Friday...maybe I'll get some down time over the weekend.

In other news (pun intended): At Sissy's elementary school, they do a morning news show that is broadcast to all the classrooms. It is professionally produced by 5th graders in conjunction with the communications teacher. According to the website: "Only students who are responsible and hard-working get news crew spots—the position is earned."

We're talking 5th grade students.

Anyhoodle, last Friday, Sissy was asked to read a book on the show. Then, she was invited back again to read the lunch menu for today. :-)

Of course, as a Journalism major myself, I had to meddle in the whole thing and get her to practice and show how you present yourself on the broadcast. (Total Stage Mommy stepping in!)

What can ya do? I also told her to bring her big smile. She said, "I always bring my smile." Very typical Sissy! She is a star of stage and screen. :-)

Makes a momma proud. I pray that she keeps her outgoing nature and good disposition for life.

I'm glad it's Friday. I hope my hooligans are glad it's Friday and let's all have a great weekend!

Love,

I Love A Day Off....

But, it really messes with my routine. I'm going to be off-kilter all week.

Buddy has an orthodontist appointment this afternoon and then Sissy has dance class. I am going to be one worn out mo-fo by 8:30.

At home today, I'm doing laundry. I just finished sorting and paying bills, which took me over an hour and a half.

My OCD self has to read every.single.line and if I sense that something is not right, then I have to research it. If I'm still not sure, then I have to call someone at customer service and go over the issue.

The IRS sent our stolen money direct deposit to the old and dusty checking account today, so I'm a bill paying fool.

Then, I also need to shop online for new jeans for Buddy and myself. It takes me FOREVER to make a decision. Add to that, we are both tall and on the thin side. It's a nightmare finding pants. Apparently, clothing manufacturers think that if you have a smaller waist, you must be only 5 foot 2. Thank goodness for stores that carry "long" or "tall" options.

That means, in between laundry and bills, I'll be shopping online. I only like to shop online if I get a discount AND free shipping. That means visiting every clothing site known to mankind.

If I can't find anything I like online, then we'll have to mingle with the unwashed masses and actually go to a real store and TRY THINGS ON.

I had the Evil Twin measure Buddy's waist and inseam (because, really, moms just shouldn't be measuring their teen boy's inseam...that's a little disturbing, if you ask me.) I've lost a bit of weight, so I'm going to have to measure myself if I hope to avoid the full-on shopping experience.

Ugh! Think kind thoughts for me, my hooligans and have a happy Tuesday - and a happy heart. :-)

Love,

The Chocolate Debacle

For Valentine's Day, I had purchased each child a valentine's box with chocolates. Because I am "The Good Mom ™" There were maybe 7 or 8 candies - nothing extravagant.

I gave them their boxes and left it to them. Sissy opened hers and chose a piece. By this time, I was in the kitchen, standing near the fridge.

She approached me with a look of disgust on her face and her right arm extended. She shook her hand around and I could see it was an orange cream chocolate.

In a most exasperated voice, she said "Really? REALLY?" like somehow the gods of chocolate making had duped her in some way and she wasn't having any of it.

I shrugged and pointed at the trash can. Later, I said, "Candy makers like to add at least one nasty chocolate per box. It's just the way they roll." And, I'm thinking, "Those damn chocolate makers are giddy with excitement picturing the faces of the poor child (or adult, for that matter) who bites into the vile orange cream candy."

Please, chocolate candy makers, leave those gross orange ones, the raspberry goo ones, basically any fruit flavored out of the mix. We all know that once a food item contains fruit, it is no longer a treat or dessert, it becomes a semi-healthy alternative to a treat.

What's next? Chocolate covered peas??? I vow to only purchase the boxes with a "road map" inside from now on. At least that way, you can avert evil and maybe give those away to a friend who likes them. Yuck!

Have a great Friday, hooligans!

Love,

Valentine's Day

I hope you all had a nice day. I spent the first part of my morning trying to finish up Sissy's Valentine's cards for her classmates (I'm a slacker, ok?).

Then I had to get myself ready to get to the grocery. I told the homeroom mom I'd bring a veggie tray, dip, cubed cheese and pepperonis. I wanted the stuff to be fresh, so I shopped about 2 hours before the big Kindergarten Valentine's party.

I gathered up all my sooplies, including extra disposable forks, spoons and a knife. People always forget the serving utensils. Plus, I threw in my pack of bendy straws, because, come on! What child does not love a bendy straw? If the children can only have bottled water (under the Federal Child Nutrition guidelines), they deserve a fun straw.

Even if all I drink during the day is water myself, I know it's not every 5 or 6 year olds' choice of beverage. Sissy loves water and often tries to appropriate my cup for herself, but Buddy has never been big on drinking water....so, I know, some of them will be fine. Others would think, "Yuck!", but add in a bendy straw and it's a liquid partay!

The kids' all seemed to have a great time and enjoyed all their cards from the class. I was exhausted by the end of the hour. I'm too old to be catering to the needy wee ones, but I did have fun. And, I was able to munch on things that fell of the trays.

I'd say, "Oh no, a casualty! I should eat this." I wouldn't eat anything off the floor, but on the food serving table, I was like, "Five seconds rule!"

I hope all my hooligans had a fun day as well. Same bat time, same bat channel tomorrow! :-)

Love,

The Kitchen Sink

When I was growing up, the kitchen sink was NOT a place to wash your hands, brush your teeth or really, do anything more than rinse your hands (if they were covered in, say, flour or something sticky.)and rinse dishes, cutlery, glasses, etc.

Of course, this was back in the days when people only used one cutting board and knife for both meats and non-meats. Also, it was before Germ-X and other waterless sanitizers came to fruition.

We do have a bottle of waterless hand sanitizer and a bottle of regular liquid soap on our kitchen sink. The Evil Twin likes the waterless stuff, but I prefer the soap.

And, I DO wash my hands in the sink in the process of cooking, but I don't ever, ever, ever use the dish towel (unless I get a fresh clean one from the drawer before I start.) Lord knows what's on that towel....so I get a piece of paper towel in that case.

We use the towel to wipe up spills. Also, I have an issue about water spots on the sink, so I use it for that.

I've been known to go in behind guests using the sink and shine it up. Some people are messy, y'all! Would they wipe up the water? No, they'd let it stay until it dried on there, then I'd have to whip out the 409 and scrub it off.

You know what else irks me? (Lots of things, really, but I'm on limited time right now.) People who use the crushed ice feature on the fridge door. Itty bitty ice shards fly all over and even if I turn it back to "cubes", the first little bit to come out is crushed pieces.

I don't like crushed pieces. They melt away faster than cubes. Plus, they are messy, y'all! You think anyone is going to wipe down that tray? No. Then, it gets all dry and stuck on there. I practically need a putty knife to get that off.

I'm a cheapskate most of the time, but things need to be clean AND smell good. I use Tide detergent for laundry, Bounce sheets for the dryer and Cascade for the dishwasher. I buy the orange scent if I can find it - it makes the whole kitchen smell good.

If I smell something uncool in the kitchen, I will sniff all around until I find the offensive odor and eliminate it.

So, yes, I do allow handwashing in the kitchen sink. That soap smells soooo good!

Have a very happy Valentine's Day, my hooligans. I'll be spending my afternoon with Sissy's Kindergarten class for their little party. Those kids are germ wagons, so I'll probably end up sick by the end of the week. That's the price I pay for having a piss poor immune system, I guess!

Love,

Food

I went to the Mart on Wednesday evening and my usual routine is to drop by the deli to get something for dinner.

We all like different things, so I just order whatever amount of this, that or the other that I think will be enough.

I get home, the food is still warm and everyone digs in.

Except, if I had not seen the clerk put the actual food into the containers, I would have thought the "food" had been brought in by paleontologist. We're talking fossilized here, people.

Chicken strips so hard, the cat wouldn't even touch one. Sissy's mozzarella sticks were hard as rocks and brown inside. Mozzarella isn't brown.

This scenario has happened to me before, so I knew the food had been sitting in the heat trays too long.

I didn't spend much money on it - maybe $3.50 total (that's for the food that was inedible...I bought some wings for the Evil Twin and his were fine.), so the money issue wasn't my gripe.

I got to thinking, "Shouldn't they time this stuff, so if X amount of time goes by and the stuff is unsold, dump it out and make some fresh?"

The next morning, I called to speak to the manager. She was very nice and said that they do have a timing policy, but the employees were not following the protocol and that she was new there and was trying to stress the importance of this policy.

She offered me replacement food, but I told her that wasn't what I was after, I just wanted someone to be aware of the situation.

She thanked me and then said, "You know that you can place an order ahead of time, have it made for you and then pick it up on your way out." That's right!

From now on, I will swing by the deli first, tell them to drop a pound of wings, a half pound of popcorn chicken, half pound of potato wedges and 4 mozzarella sticks. Then, I will know it's fresh! And hot. And not fossilized.

My family gets a decent dinner I don't have to cook or really clean up after (load the plates in the dishwasher, Evil One. Thx!)

The deli food there is really good. The Evil Twin likes their wings a lot. Only one restaurant in town gets first place over the Marts. I've never eaten a chicken wing in my entire life, so I wouldn't know....But, he's a man who likes to eat. I'll take his word for it.

I'm going to do a little experiment next time and see how long it takes to make what I need fresh, then schedule my trip to the deli accordingly to how long it may take me to shop for the rest of my list. I'll let y'all know how that turns out!

Have a wonderful Friday, my hooligans. Lawsy, it's been a long week here. I know I'll enjoy the weekend!

Love,

Doctors Are Bad Vibe Merchants

That's actually a joking phrase that the Evil Twin and I use - we love the British show (long since cancelled, but we have them on DVD) "The Young Ones." Only I think the line was "You're all just a bunch of bad vibe merchants." - Neil.

Anypoot, the Evil Twin and I have discovered recently why it's a bum deal to see the doctor. Even for just routine follow up stuff.

They always seem to find something else, something worse, wrong. And this leads to a series of expensive testing, yada, yada, yada. You would not believe the medical bills piled up around here.

When the Evil Twin's job dropped our former insurance company (which was growing shittier by the year), our only other option was for the shittiest insurance plan known to mankind. Copays, out of pocket expenses...with four people in the family, it can quickly get out of hand. We don't got pockets anymore.

We had to sell them to make a co-pay. Just kidding of course.

We pay a healthy premium each month to have the insurance, even though we are all non-smokers (they offer a teeny discount). Don't get me wrong, we're lucky to have some form of insurance at all, but, my goodness....talk about highway robbery!

I think I'll avoid doctors for a few months and try to get these bills paid off. By then, it'll be July and it turns over again. Ya know, sometimes being an adult really isn't what it's cracked up to be.

But, I guess having medical bills is better than pushing up daisies, huh? ;-)

Love,

Sorting

I consider the love seat sofa and the coffee table to be my "office" area. I can get kinda lackadaisical about the upkeep of said space, but I am making an effort to sort thru the paperwork, junk mail, etc. every couple of days.

I would take a picture of my junk pile, but it is out of control this morning - I tend to ignore it on weekends, so it just gets worse.

So, today will be another sorting day. I need to get started on our taxes - I think I have all the paperwork and software I need, but Lord knows what might be lurking in the stack of tossed aside flotsam.

My girl is home today...She started developing a rash last night. I gave her Benedryl and she slept peacefully. When I woke her up this morning, the red welts had traveled and even her face and eyelids are puffy. I gave her another dose of the 'dryl and will just have to keep an eye on her to determine if it gets better or worse. Worse will find me taking her to the pediatrician.

The Benedryl has worked well in the past, so we'll see. I have a sneaking suspicion that it's caused by one nightgown she has. It's polyester (synthetic material). Normally, I don't let my children wear polyester, but this nightgown was really cute.

It's either that or the pile of plush stuffed animals she sleeps with. I am deathly allergic to stuffed animals (if I would have them in or on my bed). I stopped sleeping with stuffed toys as a very young child. It wasn't worth the price I paid the next day.

That's my day: sorting, watching my daughter with her rash and maybe even starting on the tax situation. Oh, and laundry. And emptying and reloading the dishwasher.

I got this. I can do it!

Love,

My Li'l Groundhog

Sissy was born 6 years ago this very morning - around 10:50A. She was securely and firmly latched on my teat about a half hour later while I was in recovery for the c-section.

She spent the next 2 days attached to my boobs while we were still in the hospital. I didn't even bother to cover up when the food delivery people came by with my much anticipated meals.

I told the Evil Twin, "I think everyone in this place has seen my boobs and my hooha." He replied, "It's true. There is a huge picture of your vagina hanging right outside your door."

It's true that after you have a baby or two, your modesty goes out the window.

Since the Evil Twin had to hold down the fort and take care of Buddy, I was pretty much on my own. I had a newborn who did not like to be away from her num-nums, so I would cradle her in my left arm, let her nurse, and attempt to eat with my right hand. At one point, a grain of rice fell in her ear.

Don't panic! I was able to pick it out and throw it away. But, I thought, "Sheesh, I could use someone to hold this kid while I eat." (I was STARVING - constantly.)

But, after Buddy's premature and traumatic birth, I refused to set her down or let her go to the nursery. I slept sitting up with her in my arms, I ate while holding her, when (and if) the nurses came around, I would have them slide my ice water closer to me, so I didn't have to get up. When I had to use the "facilities", I would put her in her little plastic baby crib - only because I couldn't carry her, maneuver my IV pole, secure my "medicine ball" and urinate with no hands.

I think my heart grew three sizes bigger. I had my boy, my precious special boy and now my girl - a beautiful addition.

I love you Sissy.

Love,



aka Mommy

Ronny Donald's

On Saturdays, around this joint, we like to treat ourselves to what we call "Saturday Day Special." SDS means we all bicker decide what fast food place we want to clog our arteries with for that week.

We have two children, so the most prized fast food is that of the McD's. I'm ok with most of their food, although the things I like most are the priciest. So, I usually just end up with a cheeseburger kids meal and I give the toy to Sissy.

This past weekend, The Evil Twin went to the devil's lair and came home with our lunch. Sissy had a chicken nugget kids meal and I had the usual cheeseburger meal.

When Sissy opened her box, she said, "These fries are tiny." Oh, brother. I had heard about this in the news before, but didn't know when it would happen.

They decided, in the face of burgeoning childhood obesity rates, to cut down the size of the fries serving and also add in a thing of apples (with no caramel sauce!!!). That's nice, but maybe I want more than 12 fries in an itty bitty Barbie sized box.

While I understand the concern, and some parents would feed their children fast food 24/7, I'd like the choice of fries or apples again. We ordered the apple dippers probably 50/50 against the fries.

Like my own childhood self, both children are bean poles. Well, Sissy is a little more on the stocky side, but she takes after the Evil Twin's side of the family. Can't do much about genetics.... :-) (and, Yes, I am saying the Evil Twin comes from a sturdy lot).

So, if your children dig the fries, you might want to get an extra order of them. Whatever, I love those crunchy apples, too, so it's a win-win for me.

Love,