Rules for Teens

I didn't make this up and I can't even remember where I stole it from, but I felt it rang true and it also made me laugh.

Share this with a teen in your life:

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: They called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were: So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room..

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. *This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. *Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one..

If you can read this... Thank a Teacher. If you can read this in English... Thank a Soldier!

Enjoy! Have a great weekend, hooligans!

Love,

Why???

I just sent in the last payment on our van earlier this month. We're in possession of the title. Our Buick was an inheritance vehicle that had been paid off before we received it.

So, here we are, finally with no car payments again (we went 10 years with no car liens). Then, the shit hits the fan. Both vehicles need work. Both have very low mileage for their age, so we'll suck it up and pay for repairs until it just doesn't make sense anymore.

Then, Buddy's ceiling fan went bad. The fan works, but the lights don't. We've tried everything to fix it. This weekend, we'll be out shopping for a new fan. We also want one in our master bedroom and Sissy wants on in her room (the latter 2 rooms have crappy 2 bulb, saucer-type shades and they're beyond fugly - IMO). We also bought a new light fixture for the kitchen a while back, so we might as well hire someone out to do all four fixtures at once.

Ching ching.

We're good people. We're giving to our community, with both time and money (if we have extra). So, karma SHOULD give us a break, right?

Sometimes, it does. But, right now, we're getting the shaft on all sides.

People might say, "ETW, get off your duff and get a J.O.B." But, I found out this morning that, according to a certain early literacy test, given to Kindergarten through 3rd grade, that Sissy not only did very well, but scored "Off the chart". The administrator of the test told me "She blew me away with her knowledge". They basically only expect a beginning Kindergarten student to score a 5. Sissy scored over 60 and the chart only shows up to the 50 line. The goal for this age is to score a 25 by January. She has already passed that in all three testing areas.

I've stayed at home with both of my li'l crotch parasites and worked with them both, so whatever monetary benefits we've let go are worth it to me.

It'll all work out in the end, right? :-)

Have a happy Thursday, my hooligans!

Love,

In Da Weeds

That's me and laundry these days. So, today - like "Man vs. Food", it will be "Mom vs. Laundry". I hope I can take the laundry down and claim my victory.

So far, I have a good start.

I have my own little system. First, I sort things into piles of what they are: shirts, socks, etc. Anything that needs to be put on a hanger immediately - like the Evil Twin's work clothes - go directly on a hanger. I then sort the piles to who they belong to. Then, it's to folding and making neat little stacks for each person.

Once the stacks are complete, then I help them find their way to the appropriate drawer. That way, the family can open the closet or drawer and be all surprised that the Laundry Fairy paid a visit!

Well, this mound o' laundry isn't going anywhere if I'm on the computer. Wish me luck! And, have a happy hump day, hooligans!

Love,

Crock Pot Sunday

Beef Tip Roast and Vegetables

1 2-2 1/2 lb beef round tip roast (I used a rump roast and it was fine)
1 1/2 lbs small potatoes (about 10) halved (leave the peels on - saves time and provides nutrients and fiber).
2 med. carrots, cut into one inch pieces (1 cup)
1 large onion, sliced
1 bay leaf
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 10 oz. can condensed beef broth
3 tbsp. all purpose flour
3 tbsp. butter, melted
1 10 oz pkg frozen cut green beens

1. Trim fat from roast. If necessary, cut roast to fit into slow cooker. Place potatoes, carrots, and onion to crock. Add bay leaf and pepper. Place roast over veggies.

2. Pour broth over roast. Cover, cook on low heat for 12 -14 hours or high for 6 - 7 hours. In a small bowl, combine flour and butter. Remove roast from cooker and set aside. Stir flour mixture and green beans into cooker. Return roast, cover and cook 1 hour more.

3. To serve, discard bay leaf. Arrange roast and veggies on a warm serving platter. Spoon some gravy over roast and pass the remaining gravy at the table.

This makes a lot of food. But, my family had it polished off in a day and a half. I served it with rolls I found in the frozen section (Sister someone or the other rolls - it was in a round tin pan).

Everyone - and I mean everyone in the family loved this. That doesn't happen often. If you need to serve fewer than 4 people, I'd just cut the recipe in half. If you need to serve more, just add more and a bigger roast (you'll need more than a 5 or 6 quart slow cooker for that amount).

At any rate, you can't go wrong with the slow cooker. Chuck the ingredients in, turn it on and there ya go: mid day Sunday dinner with very little effort on your part.

Well, my beautiful hooligans, I must go. I have an appointment with my primary care physician in a bit (follow up stuff). It seems like with the kids, myself and the cat, someone needs a doctor's visit every other day. The routine is wearing me out!

Y'all have a great Tuesday and I'll see ya tomorrow!

Love,

Life is "interesting"

Last week was pretty craptacular. I had a million things to do and no time and no motivation to actually do them.

When I reach this point, the Evil Twin elevates his own mood to "asshole" status.

Luckily, I can ignore it for the most part, so I just move on.

I woke up at 7 am yesterday morning to prep for crock pot Sunday. I should have been ahead of the ordeal by prepping the night before, but I got tired.

By 8 am, I convinced myself to get the crock going. I had to cut some fat off a roast and even though I have not been a vegetarian for many years now, working with meat products still gives me the willies. There was a bit of dry heaving on my part, but I was right beside the sink, luckily and the only substance I'd had prior to 7 am was a few little sips of water.

After several hours of crocking, the finished product was not only cooked thoroughly, but also delicious.

I'll post the recipe tomorrow - it was a smash hit with the entire family (don't let it be known that I like the veggies the best!).

I have been so far behind today, I'm so tired...It's time for a shower and getting on with life in general. Buddy has an appointment with the orthodontist later. I'm sure there will be torture involved.

Have a happy Monday, hooligans! Don't do anything I wouldn't do! ;-)

Love,

Weary

No updates for today. I'm too tired.

An Exciting Vet Visit

Bella had her yearly vet check up on Monday. When I called to make the appointment, I expressed some concern about her stools (poops). I then asked if I could just bring in a sample rather than have something shoved in her poo hole (gotta be traumatizing, dontcha think?).

Because she uses the toilet, I knew I could get a nice clean, litter-free sample. They said that was fine. She's a morning pooper, so once she did her poopy bizness, I took a ziploc bag and a plastic fork (What? You think I'd use my own silverware?) and got to work.

There was a good sample right at the front of the bowl, so that was my target. I tried to scoop it up with the fork tines, but it rolled off and got away from me. I decided a more aggressive approach was needed.

So, I speared it like a pickle. But, then half of it broke off.

In my head, I thought, "Screw it." and threw the poo in the baggie. Then, I put the baggie into a brown lunch sack and put it away until appt. time.

Meanwhile, she had to do a number one. I saw her get into position, so I grabbed a small plastic cup with a lid and figured I'd provide them with a urine sample as well.

The pee went right into the little container, I snapped the lid on it and put it in the brown bag beside the ziploc of poo.

I couldn't help but think "What has my life come to?" I'm turd wrangling and sneaking up behind my cat while she pees for a urine sample? The daggone vet's office should be paying ME for doing all the dirty work.

Instead, Bella was given a few shots and a clean bill of health and I walked out $93 poorer.

For a $40 cat, she likes to spend our money.

At least I don't have to buy litter! :-)

Happy Wednesday, my precious hooligans. I think I figured out my computer "attack site" situation, but would you all let me know if you're still getting it? You can email me at eviltwinswife@gmail.com - or if you're on my FB list, you can send a message to me there....I guess that is IF you read this despite the stinky "warning".

Love,

Obsessions

I decided to take a break from housework and trying to fix my computer issue - take my mind off of things for about 10 minutes or so.

I find myself doing that a lot lately. I'll start a task and then get bored with it after 15 minutes, so then I move on to another task and do that for a few minutes. It might take me a bit longer, but it all gets finished eventually.

Anyhoodle, I noticed when I was sorting the clean laundry this morning that Sissy has a really large stack of panties. Like, I wouldn't have to launder her bloomers for quite some time - she has enough to hold out a while. Then, it hit me. I'm obsessed with panties.

With Sissy, I'm not talking anything provocative or racy.They're all age appropriate and full coverage.  But, if I see a pack that has interesting patterns, colors or (God Forbid) "Hello Kitty" on them, I am powerless to just keep walking. BOO-YA: right into my cart!

I'm the same way for myself. If I see a pack that are cute, cute, cute - then I'm gonna buy, buy, buy. I mean, really, isn't that something all of us couldn't have enough of?

At least I'm not like my one sister in law - I have three: 2 are sweet and I love them with all my heart. One is as dumb as a box of rocks. She's so lazy, she won't actually DO laundry. When she runs out of undies, she just goes and buys another pack. I don't know what happens to the neglected dirty ones (:::shivers:::::).

I cherish ALL of mine and wear them until they are falling apart from being washed so often.

Then, I go out and buy more, to boost morale for the others in the drawer (no pun intended). Maybe they won't think of their fallen comrade with a few new panties to mingle with.

I must get back to folding, etc. I hope all my hooligans have a great Tuesday!

Love,

If I Was a Hacker, I'd Start With Hacker Losers Body Parts

Somehow, I've pick up some bad code or something and now my 3 readers are getting a warning that this blog is an attack site.

Thank goodness I have a friend who is much more tech savvy than dum-dum over here (that'd be me). If I can follow his directions - which I'm sure are absolutely fine, but we have to factor in "user error" there (again, that'd be me), I hope to have a resolution at some point today.

We'll see.

Until then, I leave you with this iconic image of a man I have loved with all my heart and soul since I was 2 years old:

Love,

A Quiet Day

Finally, I have a totally quiet day. That doesn't mean I'm not busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest, though.

I really don't mind many aspects of housework. You know what I do hate? Making phone calls to get things straightened out, or to get some needed information. I usually get transferred 5 million times (exaggeration - that's how I roll) and then on the last transfer, after having explained myself 5 million times, I get cut off.

Story of my life.

The Evil Twin and I both needed to have our cars checked for potential problems yesterday, so we dropped the van (mine) off and used his for the day to run other errands. Shortly before 3, the garage called and said my van was ready! Yay!

On my way home, I have to turn left onto the main road going to our neighborhood. It's a 4 way intersection with stop lights. I had the green and started to turn until some crazy bat ran the red light and made a left right in front of me. Thank goodness I wasn't going very fast or I would have hit her.

By the looks of her, I'm pretty sure she died in 1974 and no one ever told her. It reminded me of one of my favorite jokes:

Two elderly ladies were driving around town. Ethel was driving and Myrtle was a passenger. Ethel ran thru one red light, but Myrtle didn't say a word, she was just glad they weren't hit. Then, Ethel ran thru a 2nd red light. Again, Myrtle kept quiet. Then, Ethel ran thru a 3rd red light and Myrtle couldn't take it any more. She said, "Ethel, do you realize you have gone thru 3 red lights?" and Ethel replied "Oh, am I driving?"

Shortly after we all arrived home, the Evil Twin and Sissy decided to make a trip to the Mart of K. It is situated in a large strip mall area with plenty of parking and several other handy stores. He was in the turn lane to enter the lot when some lunatic drove over the curb and into the grass, as if that was the entrance. He said it was someone in a Buick similar to ours and I'm almost positive that Ethel who ran the red light was also in a Buick (it was a 4 door sedan of some type). I'm almost positive it was the same lunatic.

Whoever was driving had to back it up, back into the road while all the other vehicles had to wait for "whoever" to get out of this ridiculous pickle.

You get all kinds around here..... Never a dull moment. I'll take that, as long as I'm only a witness and not involved in the crazy.

It's laundry day here, so I must tend to my work. I hope all my hooligans have a lovely Thursday! (I'm still working on the error message mess....hopefully I'll be back to normal soon). :-)

Love,

The Road to Hell

Is paved with good intentions. Example: You do something that benefits people other than yourself. The next day, you are blessed with a kind and giving soul who does some housework for you (for free). And no, he wasn't some weirdo, he just wanted to do a good deed for the day.

Then you find out an astronomical hospital bill was in error and you don't owe a dime. One car was inherited, the other paid off last month.... Both not very old and not very many miles. Well, the Evil Twin's inherited vehicle (a 2003 Buick with around 30K miles on it) starts losing parts and having problems.
Then, my van (a 2003 Voyager LX) is paid off last month and suddenly, it feels like the transmission is slipping.

We decided to get it looked at NOW, rather than wait and have a complete disaster. Hopefully, it's early in the game and can be fixed relatively quickly and inexpensive (as car repairs go, at any rate).

Bud has a dr. appt. today and Sis needs a ride home, so we'll see how all this pans out. Sheesh. Just when I thought things might be getting back to "normal" again, we face more adversity.

I don't know when I'll be back or even if I want to continue here. It seems to be becoming more trouble than it's worth. I have the evil malware warning  (even though I do not get it using Firefox) and I spend hours trying to find a way to contact Google, to no avail.

I need to go get ready for the "Bad News Car Repair" report. At least the Evil Twin and I can walk to Wendy's and get some lunch.....(that's SUCH a boost - eh, not really).

I hope you hooligans are having a better day than yours truly....I'll be around. Y'all know where to find me. :-)

Love,

What Was I Thinking?

Sissy had an ear infection a couple of weeks ago, so we went to the docs for a check up and antibiotics. I also realized I had not made either child's yearly "well child" check up for the year. I wanted to schedule that, but on separate days.

Buddy is 13 and there may be some things he wants to discuss or whatever that he wouldn't appreciate having his little sister there. So, not being a morning person (I'm only forced to fake it most of the time), the nurse gave me tomorrow at 1:30 for Sis and Wednesday at 1:30 for Bubs.

Then, I get home and realize that I have an appointment to see my neuro today at 12:30. The cat also needs to be scheduled for her yearly check up....I might wait 'til next week for that one. Once she sees that crate, she's totally onto me.

This summer, I had plans to harness train her. My first calico walked on a lead and would heel, sit in the car seat happily and just kinda go with the flow. But, it was just so blasted hot most days and getting her into the harness is a bit of a challenge - I'm afraid if I start with just a collar, she might choke on it, trying to get away.

Some cats just take to it easier than others. When Chingate heard the clinking of the lead and collar, she knew it was happy bye-bye time and would come running. I'd open the car door and she would hop in and make herself at home on the passenger side seat - sometimes in the back window if it was sunny, so she could catch some rays. That was back when I had a 4 door sedan. Now, I have a van - so there is no back ledge to perch upon. So, this is gonna be a busy week for yours truly. I still have to work in food shopping and prep, housekeeping, child wrangling, etc.

All I know is that I would not cancel my neuro appt. for a million dollars - I probably wouldn't be seen for another 6 months. Around here, finding a neurologist is almost a futile attempt. IF you find one AND you can get your foot in the door, it's nothing short of a miracle. My 1st neurologist moved out of state - no biggie, because I wasn't very fond of him and wanted to get in with the most popular neuro in town. Which, after much hand-wringing and paperwork, I was deemed worthy of being her patient. I really liked her. She and her husband (also a neurologist)....moved out of state. I decided to go with the doctor that my former physician's assistant (for my 2nd doc) was going to work for. I knew he could get me in. And, so far, I like the new doc.

He's very pleasant and a good listener. That is my week in a nutshell.

Do you ever over-schedule yourself by accident? I'm really not a fan of that. I'll need to figger out my smart phone calendar app, so I can have my schedule at all times. I hope all my hooligans are off to a great start this week. Happy (?) Monday. :-)

Love,

I Hate Crappy Service

And I know most of you do, too! I became aware of an issue with the blog recently that involved a warning message. The message stated that the (this) blog was somehow associated or infested with malware.

I ran an anti-virus scan and an anti-malware scan and I think I have the issue solved. We'll see. At any rate, I'm very sorry. Not that anyone was rushing to read my boring missives, but I hate to give any sense of my site is full of cooties and y'all just hoping you run away before the cooties hit YOUR computer.

Myself and several others affected by this cootie problem think it's probably some sort of scam. I'm not sure, but just in case, I did all the scans I could think of and cleaned up my computer (although I didn't find anything suspicious after the scans). I just want this menace to GO AWAY.

I really write for myself - I enjoy it. All my life, I wanted to be a writer, a radio host and a mom. I've done all three and I can say Momming is the best job I ever took on. Writing on the blog is also to me because I can clear my head of silly things, frustrations, daily trials and tribulations, and whatever else my weird mind brews up.

I feel like I "matter" in a sense. When I say I am a stay at home mom, I get one of two reactions: Jealousy or the "Pitiful Stare of Shame" that I'm not using my degree. Every now and then, I get understanding or acceptance. Yay!

I'm running late (as per usual) and have to get going if I want to get anything accomplished today. So, I bid my hooligans a Wednesday farewell - Have a GREAT day!

Love,

It's Raining, It's Pouring...Soon, I'll be Snoring

I hope you all had a relaxing 3 day weekend. Ours was nice, but it has rained every day and sometimes, pretty extremely. This morning is no different. I took Sissy to school and tried to keep us as dry as possible getting inside.

I felt bad, because the temperature has dropped so much here, I wanted her to wear something on her legs (not shorts, as usual). So, I chose a really cute outfit she had last year and woke her up.

We were running late. The Evil Twin either forgot to set the alarm or turned it off and went back to sleep. I never heard it (and I always hear it), so I'm not sure what happened. I woke up at 7 and we all had to get cracking.

After I got Sissy breakfast and fixed her hair, I put her in said outfit. It had leggings and those were a full inch too short. I didn't have time to examine all her other pants and the new ones I'd bought at the beginning of the year are still in the laundry basket with tags on them. I hadn't anticipated a cold snap this early on.

So, I dragged my rain-soaked child into school and told her teacher that, "For today, she is wearing 'Capris'" with a wink.

Her teacher and aide are so sweet. They snickered and said they understood...I hope they were laughing WITH me. LOL.

Since it is such a craptacular day, I think I will sort through clothes, wash new ones and catch up on random "to do" items. I should be headed to the Mart, but I'm really not into being soaked by rain and cold - not to mention my hair will not tolerate this weather. Let's see....do I want to look pleasant or have hair like Roseanne Roseannadanna? (Those of you under 35 will need to Google this).

Who knows what today has in store for me? I just kind of make it all work somehow.

I hope my hooligans have a safe and happy Tuesday and I'll see ya tomorrow!

Love,

New Discoveries

It's amazing to me how far in the weeds I've gotten regarding housework. Here I thought, "Oh, both kids in school all day: I'll have tons of time to clean."

Well, let me just tell you I was wrong. So. Very. Wrong. After I drop Sissy off at Kindergarten, I come home and like to have a little downtime. You know, about an hour to check my email, Facebook, etc. Then, I get a shower and get to work, but there's a lot to do here!

Yesterday, a friend and I went to see "The Help". I'd read the book, as had she, and we were both keen on catching the movie. The movie was longer than we expected, but it didn't help that there were 40 (exaggeration) previews before the actual show got started. It was very good. We shared a popcorn and when it was over, I didn't even have to look at her. I reached into my handbag and got 2 tissues. One for her, and one for me. We laughed, we cried - it was a cool girlfriend bonding moment. LOL. (Kenju will know who I was with....shhhhh).

So, I didn't get around to much housework yesterday, but just to get out of the house with a friend was a real treat. I have not physically stepped foot in a theatre in probably 6 years. Luckily, there were only about 10 people total (including us) there. Early weekday matinees are the bomb!

My other recent discovery is that Bella (the cat) is intensely interested in the lizard population that live out in the brick planter on the patio. Well, it's not so much a "planter" as it is an overly large weed patch, but whatever. There's a little gap at the bottom and that's where they hang out until they want some sun, then they skitter out and drive Bella to the brink of insanity. I have never seen a cat's tail flap around that fast or with as much force as she puts into it.

Housework calls my name, so I must get at it. Happy Friday, hooligans and YAY for a long weekend - I think we all really need a long weekend at Casa Evil Twin. Enjoy yours!

Love,