Christmas Recap

Sissy said this was the "best Christmas ever!". I suspect it's the first one where she really understands the whole "Santa/Presents" thing.

The Evil Twin had approached me a week or so earlier and said he wanted to get me a Kindle as a gift, but he wanted me to choose the one I wanted. After researching my options, I picked the Kindle Fire and also a handy protective case.

So far, I've watched a movie on it and downloaded a few books, but I'm still figuring it all out. I think it will be handy for the moments in my life I have a few minutes to burn waiting on [doctors, dentists, children, etc.]

The family has been enjoying the Christmas BREAK by doing only the bare minimum around here. Relaxation is our middle name now.

Unfortunately, we must make the soul killing visit to the Mart today. We are out of so much.... I'm STILL sick, but I think I can buck up and deal with the general public on a limited basis today.

Christmas Day at Casa Evil Twin was berry, berry good, indeed. I hope all my hooligans had happy holidays as well!

Love,

Other Bugs Aren't Welcome, Either

It may be even worse than the stink bug invasion. On Tuesday morning, no one seemed to be feeling all that great. I even asked Buddy if he wanted to stay home because he looked miserable.

He said, no. He didn't want to have to do all the make up work. The Evil Twin took him on to school. I took Sissy a bit later. At 9 am, I get a call from the elementary school. Sissy has some sort of unknown rash or hives on her midsection, sides and back.

I went to pick her up and then to the store for Benedryl. We got home, got settled, I gave her the medicine and then my phone was ringing again. This time it was 10am. Buddy calling, "Can you come pick me up?" Picked him up and we all settled in for the day.

Sissy's rash did go away, but had returned the next morning. Gave her more benedryl and went to check on Buddy. He was still under the weather and decided to stay home and rest.

I had been up and down all night with vomiting and the "other thing". The Evil Twin also had a bad cold, so it was a family sick day!

This morning, Sissy woke up with no rash, but I gave her a small dose of the med just in case. This is their last day before Christmas break and I didn't want her to miss it - they'll probably do some fun stuff. And, it's only a half day, so that won't be so bad.

I'm hoping that Santa brings lots of goodies to our house and yours and I also hope he scoops up all the germs around here and magically makes them disappear, as only Santa could!

I've got a million things on my mind, but due to the stomach flu (?) and a mild sinus infection, I haven't been able to cobble my thoughts together. Lord willing, I'll be back tomorrow. Christmas is almost here! YAY!

Love,

Dirty Bugs Are NOT Welcome In My Home

I make an exception for spiders, because I do love them, but I also scoop them up and deposit them back into nature.

This year has been exceptionally bad for a really gross looking bug we call a "stink bug". I don't know if they actually stink or not, because I'm not inclined to get my nose close enough to find out (living or dead).

In our first house, we always had the ladybug invasion every fall. At this house, where we have lived for over 7 years, we haven't had really much more than a few ant situations, and I'll see a ladybug or two. Not like the Amityville Horror house of ladybugs at the old neighborhood.

Anyway, I looked up "stink bugs" for y'all and found this disturbing image:

Isn't that gross? They like to get into the house somehow and then circle around the ceiling fan lights. It drives me and the cat nuts.

This morning, one got in and proceeded to buzz around my person. At one point, I thought it had landed in my hair. If I had a camera from a psych ward watching me, I'd be in a padded cell by now.

The Evil Twin has sprayed heavy duty bug spray on nearly every minute surface of our lawn (a double lot) and the exterior of the house. He has also managed to kill most of the plant growth around the property after he suffered a severe case of poison ivy.

I'm off to do some research on eradicating "stink bugs" now. I swear, if one ever lands on me, check the obituaries because I will have died from a heart attack, stroke or aneurysm.

Do you think a "No Dirty Bugs Allowed" sign would help much? Yeah, me neither.

I hope all you hooligans have a bug free Friday and enjoy the weekend.

Love,

Busy Week

Sorry to go all MIA on you, my faithful four readers.

We set up our (fake) tree this weekend, but that was about it. The Evil Twin wasn't feeling well and went to bed as soon as he got in from work. So, we didn't do anything to the tree.

Tuesday evening, we checked the lights. One strand worked and one did not. I hauled my carcass to the Mart of K and bought new lights. We work as a team for lights and garland, cause it's easier than one person circling around the tree a million times.

The Evil Twin started the 2nd strand from the wrong end, so we had to unwind and redo. Then, we plugged it in. The top half of strand one (which had worked the day before) wasn't working (!!???).

Went to Rite Aid and bought another set. By the time we had done all the doing and re-doing and me going out to the store late, we decided we'd just have to fix it on Wednesday - now keep in mind, he's still sick and stayed home Tuesday and Wednesday. I had also come down with the creeping crud on Wednesday. I feel worse today, even.

But, it's hard to get motivated when you feel like crap on a cracker, ya know? Just to spice things up a bit, in addition to my mystery stomach problem, I woke up this morning with a sore throat and sinus pain. AWESOME! Now, I feel like two craps on a cracker.

Because I am old, my vision is not as good as it once was. I need prescription glasses for reading. Because I am lazy, I leave them in the case next to my computer. I put the school lunch menu up on the fridge. Well, I'm certainly not going to walk from the kitchen to the den (maybe 10 steps) to get the glasses, so I squint at the menu and read that today is an early dismissal day. That means I have to get Sissy at 1p. I bust my sick ass to get ready in time, then sit outside the school for about 10 minutes. I'm noticing there are no other parents there and the children weren't let out at 1, so I call the school office and find out the early dismissal is NEXT Thursday, the 22nd, not the 15th.

I suppose it's time for me to stock up on cheap readers and leave them all over the house. That's not really ideal, since my prescription is odd and not the same on both sides. In addition to being lazy, y'all know I'm cheap and I'm not paying a fortune for extra prescription glasses.

Luckily, the school is only a mile and a half from our house, so I just came on back, feeling like a douchecanoe, and here I sit waiting for regular pick up time to roll around.

I have so much to do today...the house needs a thorough vacuuming, if I don't get to the grocery soon, we may starve and there's something in the fridge that doesn't smell right (time to clean 'er out).

I'm going to zone out here for a few minutes, then go pick up my girl. I hope y'all are having a more productive week than me. :-)

Love,

The Blasted Economy

Alrighty, I'm not here to cast any aspersions or point any fingers. I'm just going to relay a true event that happened yesterday.

While my daughter was in testing, my son and I walked across the street to get lunch. Gino's (mostly known for their pizza, but they also offer other lunch foods) is a local thing. Owned by the same guy who owns my beloved Tudor's Biscuit World.

Tudor's is like crack wrapped up in crunchy paper. If you eat there, you will never forget that experience, and in fact, it might make you want to move to West Virginia. That's how good the food is.

Gino's - another fine food establishment known only to WV - also has tasty things on the menu.

We walked across the street. I had my mind squarely set on a pepperoni pizza bread. Buddy looked at the menu and chose an Italian Sub combo (with fries and a drink). Since I don't drink sodas, I had my handy water already in my handbag.

Now, I have eaten at Gino's many, many times in my sad existence in this pee-pee soaked hell hole (nearly 26 years) and have always loved the pizza bread. I figured it would be a nice, not too heavy lunch and all would be right with the world.

When my plate came, I observed an itty bitty "hoagie" roll. The pizza breads USED to be much larger. This little dingle dangle couldn't even fit a regular sized hot dog on it. My 5 year old would be starving after eating this disaster.

Plus, it scalded the roof of my mouth like an SOB. So, thanks, Gino's of South Charleston. #1. I was paying a load of money and #2. You ruined the top of my mouth with your stupid, hot, tiny sandwich (I'm not sure if it deserves the title of "sandwich".) The word "dinner roll" comes to mind much easier than "sandwich".

After the roof of my mouth cooled down and I ate a handful of Buddy's fries, it tasted really great. I could have used 3 of them. And, I am not a person who eats way too much.

Of course, I had to laugh about it later, because OBVIOUSLY. Teeny "sandwiches" are really funny (yet, not filling).

I won't be going back again.

Happy Friday, hooligans!

Love,

OK

I received a lovely and heartfelt email from a long time reader and also several other inquiries that made my heart feel all warm and happy.

So, I've had a difficult week and my head hasn't really been in the game, but I feel like I need to go on doing what I've been doing - no matter how boring that may be.

I don't have anything major or bad going on in my life, it's just been all the stupid little details that are weighing me down. I need to shake off the holiday stress, I suppose.

Just let me get through this week and weekend and I will try to be better about humiliating myself on a daily basis. Because, that's what I'm all about.

Thank you, secret messengers. You all lifted my spirits and made me see that maybe I needed to keep writing. I do love to write and I see so much funny on a daily basis, it would be a shame to keep all that crazy to myself, right?

Love you guys, and gals. Have a happy Wednesday and I'll catch up soon!

Love,

1,170. The End.

I'm taking down my shingle. I will not block this site or make it private, but there will most likely be no more posts here.

If you want to remove me from your blogroll, I understand. However, you all still know how to get in touch with me: eviltwinswife@gmail.com.

Thanks for the readership over the years. I'm not going away completely - I will still be visiting and commenting on other blogs. :-)

Love,

Facelift for the Home

The Evil Twin and I have wanted a ceiling fan in our bedroom since we moved in 7 years ago. We had one in our bedroom in our first house and really liked it.

Buddy had one in his room there as well. He was the first one to have a lighting change in his bedroom here. Couple years later, Sissy came along and I wanted to get her a fan, too.

#1. Everyone knows I'm cheap. #2. The Evil Twin does not like to deal with electricity issues (see #1: that means I have to hire someone to do the work AFTER the lighting is purchased....ca-ching.) #3. It can take me days, months, years or merely minutes to decide on a purchase. I know it when I see it.

Finally, finally, finally, we decided to buy the lighting. Then, it took me about a month or more to muster up the ability to call the electrician. We have used this same electrician a number of times and he is really nice and his rates are reasonable, but I just have to "feel" like I'm ready to deal with stuff before I make the appointment. That's just how I roll.

Today was the big day! The ceiling fans look amazing and the kitchen light was also replaced and looks fantastic!

Plus, all the rooms are so much brighter. The Evil Twin and I do not enjoy the "bat cave" environment. Not that I have anything against bats (I think they're adorable), but lighting - particularly overhead lighting - is something we enjoy.

Yay for new lights!

Now that the electricians have finished and moved on to their next job, it's time for me to move on with my day, too. Hooligans, have a fab Friday and even better weekend!

Love,

Running Out of Steam

I just can't seem to get my act together these days. Last night, I slept comfortably, but my brain would not shut down - in other words: I was in a good position, but I couldn't quite get the thoughts and weird "dreams" to go away.

Maybe now that I've purged them, they can hit the trails.

I ordered Buddy the Alienware M14x laptop. It's the only thing he has asked for this year. I told him that it would be a combination Christmas and birthday gift (his bday is Jan. 21). He will get other gifts from relatives, but I figured if he *knew* the only gift he'd receive from us was the laptop, he could check it out when it arrived.

I hate ordering electronics and then waiting 4 weeks to make sure everything works correctly. But, I was told the earliest shipping date would be Dec. 16. The laptop arrived yesterday, which caused all kinds of chaos in the family unit.

I've never been a stickler for "It has to be THIS certain day." As long as the recipient knows the score and agrees to the ground rules - and, at nearly 14, I think he does, then why would be have to wait?

My thoughts: Let him enjoy the gift and let me feel better that the product at hand actually functions the way it should before it's too late to be returned/exchanged.

BTW, that laptop is AWESOME!!!! :-)

I hope all my hooligans are having a good week and a great Thursday! I'll be here tomorrow - same (loosely available) bat time, same bat channel.

Love,

I'm Baaaack

Sorry for the lack of postitudiness. The Evil Twin was off all week for the Thanksgiving holiday and I wanted to spend as much family time as we could and also just chillax. I didn't even have time to read many blogs or post comments.

We watched a few movies, had a few naps on the couches, ate too much on Thursday - and it was ALL good. We had company on Friday evening. The Evil Twin's sister and 3 of his other classmates came for a visit. It was fun.

The thing is, even though I'm 9 years younger than the Evil Twin and didn't even meet him until my early 20s, I've heard so many stories about all the antics of his high school years, I didn't feel left out at all and even chimed in with some things he had mentioned to me about the past.

Monday was "getting back into the groove" day and today, I'm waiting on the electrician. We're having one light and one ceiling fan replaced and 2 lights replaced with new ceiling fans as well.

This is our regular guy and he's only stopping by today to check things out and give us an estimate. I hope he can do the actual work by the end of the week. Buddy's ceiling fan bit the dust a while back. Just the light portion, not the fan portion, so he's had to rely on a lamp for light in his room. I know he can't wait to have a working overhead light again.

I hope all my hooligans are having a good Tuesday - it's been cruddy, rainy and overcast here for at least a week, but otherwise, things have been great. I'll wrap this up and see y'all again soon!! :-)

Love,

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Evil Twin took the week off work, so it's sort of like I'm on vacation, too.

We've had a pretty good week. Miss Bella Della Doodle Bug Pie had more than her fair share of turkey and has been asleep on the couch since about 3pm.

As is my tradition, I did NOT have any turkey or ham (ick!), but still managed to eat too much.

I'll see y'all again on Monday when my life goes back to normaltude. :-) This week is family time and relaxing as much as possible.

Ahhhhhhh. It's good to take a break!

I hope all my hooligans are having a great week and a great holiday as well!

Take care,
Love,

Hello, Friday! Glad You Made It!

I'm sooo glad it's Friday this week. I'll be looking forward to Monday after next week, I'm sure.

The Evil Twin has taken leave time for the week off and the kids only have school on Monday and Tuesday before the Thanksgiving break pops in.

At least, that will lower my laundry duties a tad. And, having the Evil Twin home will help me - I'll have more freedom to get things together for the holiday by myself and he can hang out with the little monsters. :-)

This year will be the same as the last few. I'll pick up some ham and turkey from Heavenly Ham add some veggie sides, rolls, and a pie. That's my whole effort.

The way I see it is: I'm not going to eat much anyway. I hate the Thanksgiving foods, especially the meats. I don't want to cook them, I don't want to smell them. Seriously, do you want me to barf on my plate on a holiday?

I remember one year, my parents and the Evil Twin and I all went to his mother and her husband's house for ....either Thanksgiving or Christmas (I think I was pregnant with Buddy, so it was late 1997). His mom kept offering me some sort of goopy turkey casserole. I said, "No thank you."

But, she pressed. Finally, my mom said, "She won't eat turkey." My mom knew about my food aversions - and it wasn't because I was pregnant. It was because the list of foods I WILL eat is much shorter than the list of foods I WON'T eat.

So, that is why I have never attempted to cook a turkey myself (GAG). My family will just have to deal with whatever I can find to purchase already cooked. And they really love the Heavenly (or Homestyle -whatever it's called now) Ham and Turkey, so there ya go! A win-win for the ETW!

Have a great Friday and a great weekend!:-)
Love,

Opening Up A Can of Whoop Ass

A close friend of ours is an entrepreneur and always comes up with the best ideas. He's fearless - he just goes for it. He's also a pilot and is often flying here or there.

He had an idea about things that could be clipped onto the strings of hoodies - that both advertised a certain image and held the strings in place. (How many times have you had to retrieve a string from a hoodie or shorts that got sucked into the material? I know I've used safety pins many times to get those strings back out.)

So, he came up with the Whoop Ass Can Company.

He has worked with the Evil Twin on many projects, and he hired the Evil Twin again to design a logo and the little cans.

Logo:

Now, the Evil Twin did not draw Chubbs (the bulldog, who is an actual dog owned by a friend of the owner of the company), but he did design the rest of the logo and as I said before, the cans. He also designed the packaging material that the cans will be placed in for retail sale.

Check out the page on Facebook and like it. I command you to do so! :-) Besides, isn't that doggy a cutie-pie? The Evil Twin actually got to meet Chubbs at a photo shoot and I am jealous! I want to scritch his fuzzy head. You can look at him and know he is a little love bug.

Hooligans, have a wonderful Wednesday! I have a million things planned for today and I hope to get to it all.

Love,

Another Fun Monday

We all had a long weekend, thanks to the Veterans Day holiday on Friday. The Evil Twin is a Veteran, so we all thanked him and treated him like a king. I mean, come on! The dude's ass was OWNED by the Air Force for 8 years. No, he didn't serve war time, but he did help with things related to Desert Shield. (or Storm, whatever that first one was).

And that's all I will say about that.

But, we did have 3 days off work/school. Except me. I'm here, 24/7 doing my thing. Honestly, do you think a person such as myself will get a break even when they don't bring in very much money, but do a large part of keeping the household running? I didn't think so. I'm used to it by now.

So, that is why I didn't update on Friday.

Today, the Evil Twin is back to work, the children are both in school and I am trying to get in the groove and be productive.

Right now, I'm eating little mozzarella balls marinated in olive oil that I bought at the deli. Don't judge me! I never eat lunch. (This is true - at nearly 5 foot 9, I weigh 114 lbs). I'm very stressed and I am a stress non-eater.

Currently, I'm sitting here in my undies - because my shorts fell off. But, I need to get in the shower and decide what will be my tasks for the afternoon. I have a variety of choices (as per usual)...but do I want to tackle chores to the East or to the West (I only do one direction a day to bundle the errands and save gas). And, I'm not even a hippie. Just cheap.

Have a nice Monday, hooligans!

Love,

Christmas Layaway

It's looking like more of a possibility this year than not.

Sissy is in dance class. There is a Winter recital coming up where the girls are to wear a long sleeved white leotard, a white skirt and white tights. They can wear their regular shoes - I always buy black shoes (we have 3 different pair: tap, ballet and modern, or jazz as it's been known in the past.) Her class is only doing one ballet and one modern routine for Winter.

I've already collected everything we need for that.

However, the Spring/Summer recital is a HUGE deal. There will be custom ordered costumes, 3 routines and Lord only knows what kind (color) shoes. The three costumes are $225.00.

I talked to the Evil Twin about it and he said, "I don't care." And that is Evil Twin speak for "Buy the damn costumes."

Normally, I'd be hedging about this, but Sissy LOVES the stage, she loves the performance. She's a 2nd child who has received so many "hand me down" toys and assorted other things, I think we can indulge her one fun activity. :::As an aside, I personally think she is the cutest in the class::: ;-)

It's no secret that I have a crap ton of work to do today, so I'm outta here. Y'all hooligans have a great Thursday!

Love,

Hangin' Around

Our main TV (in the den...which is the living or sitting room for those not Southern) and it's the BATV (big ass TV) which everyone enjoys watching has been acting up for a few days.

Alternately, the sound drops out and then a few seconds later the picture gets all scrambly - I'm told this is "tiling". We had a technician out on Monday evening and of course, like taking a car in for issues, the TV was not doing the freezing/tiling at the time.

As soon as he left though, it started back up again. We think it might be the DVR box itself because all the other TVs in the house work fine.

And, we have been known to burn through DVR boxes at an alarming rate. Not that they are over-worked, but for some unknown reason, our DVRs seem to shit the bed more often than the average DVR. Maybe they're possessed and hate us.

I just don't know. But, what I DO know is that with the very few - like less than 4 shows I do like to watch - I shouldn't have to watch them on the ancient 13 inch TV in our bedroom just to be able to hear them.

13 inches? Wasn't John Holmes' package bigger than that?? Sheesh, we need a new TV in that room.

Anypoodle, I called the cable company last night and they are sending out a technician today between 10 A and noon. Only, it's 11:54 and the only call I've had is from the office verifying the appointment.

We'll see. I just hope the issue is resolved today.

Happy Wednesday, hooligans! I have more jaw dropping stories coming up! ;-)

Love,

Everyday

Everyday, I try to sort through the mounds of paperwork I don't have time for initially.

The Evil Twin says my "office" area is a disaster, but I do throw away tons of non-essential papers, magazines, expired coupons, etc. on a regular basis.

I have my bill paying system set up the way it's convenient and accessible to me. I know where every thing is and that's all that is important.

Between the bills, local newspaper flyers and coupons and the kids' homework, it's enough to drive anyone mad.

So, it's the kids' needs first, bills second and everything else can sit and spin a day or two. Which reminds me, I need to vacuum and unload and reload the dishwasher...then make a trip to the Mart. AFTER I get a shower (and it's almost 11:30A).

What have I been doing all morning? Sorting through bills and papers. Cleaning up the junk the kids' left out in the den this morning before school. Scrubbing toilets. Adding "to do" items to my ever growing list. I also have 2 baskets of laundry to fold that I may - or may not - get to today. Our cable box is wacked out, so I need to call them as well. The technician was just here last night and things were A-OK. A few hours after he left, the same problem started up.

Don't get me wrong - I love being able to stay at home and take care of my precious little ones (Don't tell Buddy that, he's almost 14 and would be mortified. LOL.) I just wish it was one thing at a time. But, after nearly 14 years of doing my job, I realize it will never be one thing at a time.

I just try to figure out how to be two (or more) places at once! :-)

I keep telling myself if I made it through tennis lessons with a former pro tour teacher (he was SO demanding) and received my BA degree from university, then I'm strong enough to make it now, too. :-)

Love,

The Fortune Cat

As my 2 readers know, the Evil Twin goes to the local Chinese Buffet restaurant for lunch on Wednesdays with his co-workers.

There is a market near the buffet place that sells Asian foods, desserts and other knick-knacks. He and Sissy both dig the garlic peas, so he'll pop over there and buy some goodies.

He came home on Wednesday with treats for everyone. Well, not me, but that's okay. I enjoyed seeing the kids happy.

One thing he picked up for Sissy was a "Fortune Cat". It's sort of like a solar powered calculator in that if it is in light, the little left hand waves back and forth. Sooo cute.



Fortune Cat sits on the coffee table and waves at me all day. Fortune Cat don't give a shit, he just gets what he wants (and if I have a say in it, I hope it's money in our bank account - or under the mattress. I'm not picky.)

Bella, our real and not very fortune like cat, is intrigued by this new interloper. Not interested enough to jump up on the table and attack, but interested enough to stand on her hind legs and watch the new arrival to the house. She's kinda lazy.

Anyway, I spent half my day Friday trying to get this daggone video clip up on the old blog, but gave up after a while. Soo, here it is for your amusement today! Enjoy!

Mondays have to be good for something, right?

Love,

What Will Win? Lazy or Convenience?

As usual, I have housework to do and I've been doing little things here and there. I also need to go to the grocery, but I don't feel like driving to the Mart. I'll have to check the bank account and see if we can afford to pick up a few things from the K-Rogers.

Their prices are so high, it's scary. Maybe they're just doing for the Halloween season? I don't know because I went a day or so ago to pick up the usual: milk, bread, vino, etc. I also wanted to see if there was any leftover candy from Halloween that was marked down.

Ya know what? There was not. They already had their CHRISTMAS candy out. What? No nasty candy corns for Thanksgiving? You are truly a gem, Kroger. Where did the boatload of Halloween candy go?

I have a feeling it's put back in the store room for the next Halloween.

Oh! And I was also at Rite Aid earlier in the week. They had a ton of candy marked 50% off, but it was priced at $14.99 a bag. Soooo, you're charging me the SAME price for the candy by marking it up and then adding a 50% off sign? Even my 5 year old could see through that ruse.

It was fricking $7.50 a bag BEFORE Halloween. I didn't just fall off the turnip truck yesterday....Sheesh.

Rite Aid, you may sell Hobo Priced Wine, but I will not buy your overpriced candy.
Love,
Me

And, hooligans, have a wonderful Thursday. I'll check in tomorrow. I guess.

Love,

Old Skool Texting

And we didn't use any silly abbreviations, although I have been known to do that in the past (somewhat).

The Evil Twin's computer (desktop) is in his home office, which is downstairs. The kids and I spend most of our time on the main floor. I'm on my laptop, Buddy's on his laptop, Sissy has her DSi and is close to the kitchen for the snack drawer...

I had to get a message to the Evil Twin, but I didn't know if he was in his office (near his cell) or in his Laz-e-Boy chair in his man cave (and not near his cell).

So, I devised a plan. I wrote on a piece of paper. And then I made Sissy take it down to him. [hey, there are many steps between the main floor and the lower floor and she has more energy - She might as well make herself useful).

This is our transaction:

See how well that worked? And we didn't have to spend energy on texting, calling or anything. Just like the good ol' days when people had big families to work the farm, we can all still utilize our crotch parasites to do work for us.

I'll tell one kid or another: "Make yourself useful and __________ (vacuum the den area, go get the mail, pick up your toys & take them to your room, etc.)

Slave labor? Ha! I've got Babe Labor. I trucked those sorry things around for *weeks*. Fed them and everything. Even Sissy, who rode my bladder like it was a bouncy house.

I love my kids! :-)

And, I love my hooligans, too. Y'all have a great Wednesday!

Love,

Halloween + Chilly Nights Do Not Really Work For Me

In the nearly 6 years that Sissy has been on this planet, she has NOT enjoyed Halloween. Not one little bit.

Last year, we spent the evening with close friends. She went to...maybe 2 houses, got freaked out and spent the rest of the time on our friends' front porch.

But, this year, she seemed to really be getting into the whole "trick or treat" routine.

Unfortunately, it was drizzly and cold here. Buddy, at 13, feels it's beneath him to don a costume and go door to door. We did get Sissy a costume and she was able to wear it at her class Halloween party on Friday.

We might only have a handful of kids show up at our house, since we are kind of not very accessible. So, I told the kids if they stayed home and helped hand out candy, they could help themselves to the candy as well. Sissy wanted to wear her costume (no problem) and everyone had a good time AND stayed warm!

I even squirreled away a Reese's Cup for just myself - they were going fast! Buddy blamed the lack of Reese's on the cat, but since Bella doesn't have opposing thumbs, I doubt it was her. LOL.

This is the first year since I've lived in this state that Trick or Treat night actually happened on the 31st. Very unusual. Samhain (pronounced Sow-ain)must just be too skeery for the folks around here.

The worst thing that happened to us was that a squirrel(s) ate one eye and one toof off our jack-o-lantern.

I guess they wanted to make it creepier looking...since it was all smiley and sweet before.

Well, I hope my hooligans are not too candy-logged today and enjoy the Tuesday.

Love,

18 And Life To Go

I had to borrow a little song title from the band Skid Row. Now, the actual song and this post have almost nothing to do with each other, except the number 18.

Yesterday, October 30th, the Evil Twin and I reached our 18th year of marriage.

We didn't do anything spectacular. He went and grabbed some sandwiches and then we all laid around in food comas and watched some football. Not very exciting, but as I explained to the kids: October 30th, 1993 was the highlight year. It's just downhill from there. LOL.I keed, I keed.

We've had our share of good moments and bad, but I think that's typical.

I may not act like it all the time, but I'm glad we got married. Without him, we wouldn't have our two beautiful children and I wouldn't laugh nearly as often (he's a hoot).

He has clean nails and no body odor, and he's tidy around the house - i.e. he doesn't leave stuff laying around for me to pick up and deal with.

So, all in all, I think it's a good union.

Now, we made it to 18 years and just have life to go. :-)

Happy Monday, hooligans - and Happy Halloween!

Love,

I'm So Glad it's Friday!

This has been a long and busy week. It was "Spirit Week" at Buddy's school, which means each class gets points for sporting the attire of the day - like yesterday was Mis-Match day. The kids wear things that don't match and get a point.

At Sissy's school, they had a "field trip" earlier in the week. It was a Bus Safety lesson, even though not all the children take the bus. It was an opportunity for them all to get on the bus, tool around the block and learn some safety rules about riding the scary fun bus.

At the beginning of the year, she had asked me if the bus had seat belts or booster seats. I said, "No." and she said, "Then I don't want to ride it." Fine by me. Then, last week she states that she DOES want to ride the bus. It's an option. I'll think about it.

Then, today, Sissy's school has a Halloween party. I sent her costume (Spider Countess). And, it's also popcorn day, show n tell day and something else I've already forgotten.

A day or so ago, a few forms came home for both kids (not the same forms). I did Buddy's because they were due today - Thanks for the extra "heads up" kid! (he handed them to me last night).

I think the school people are trying to kill me (LOL). It's no wonder I have 4 notebooks and two calendars full of information. I'm lucky if I remember to look down and see if I have shoes on when I leave the house! ;-)

Well, I'm outta here for a fantastic afternoon of errands. I hope all my hooligans have a wonderful and relaxing weekend.

Love,

Who Knew?

When I had lunch with my friend the other day, she mentioned that her sons - one is a grade behind Buddy and the other is already in High School - came home starving and said that the lunch offerings were a bit on the puny side.

Now, we all know that growing boys can eat and eat and eat. In fact, they all possess at least one hollow leg.

When Buddy got home that day, I asked him about the lunch servings and he said that not only were they light on the food, but often, the food was barely edible.

They do have a salad bar in addition to the hot lunch offering, which is nice. But, get this: The students are separated by gender for lunch and the girls get to go first (makes sense - Ladies First), but by the time the boys arrive for lunch, the salad bar is picked over and there isn't much left. Can they not restock the salad bar area when things are running low or is the economy worse than I know?

All I know is I pay a hefty lunch bill for both children at the end of the month. So, I asked Buddy, "Would you prefer if I prepare a cold lunch for you every day, so you have enough food?" and he said, "NO! There is only one dorky kid who brings a cold lunch every day and no one wants to be like that."

Apparently, it is "uncool" if you bring a lunch. However, things are A-OK if you get a hot lunch and even if it's really horrible, you gain "street cred" points. (even if you pick at the nasty lunch and basically almost starve to death during the day).

I took a lunch EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. of my school career until 10th grade and we could go off campus and buy other things. My poor mom said she got so sick and tired of smelling peanut butter, she never wanted it again. And that was it for me: peanut butter sandwich, no jelly. Items I agreed to add were either apple slices or Fritos. From 1st to 9th, that was MY daily meal. In fact, I don't recall ever having lunch at the school cafeteria - just the smell of the place made me queasy.

Thank goodness, Buddy is a kid who still enjoys having a decent breakfast. I know he's not going off to school completely without any nutrition. Unfortunately, I'm old school and give my kids things like Cocoa Puffs (actually, the generic equivalent). Whatever. I grew up on boxed cereal and/or grits and I turned out...

OK? I guess? I graduated from High School and College. My Dad paid for my education, but he didn't facilitate in any way the outcome of said education. In other words, I didn't get a "pass". I did all the school work myself. And, back then, I lived on potato chips and beer (I was a vegetarian).

But, it breaks my heart that my son has to have such pathetic portions and choices for lunch. That kid could eat a side of beef by himself. Let's face it: Any 13 year old who loves squid/calamari and will order it any time he has a chance is not really your average 13 year old. LOL.

Happy Thursday, hooligans! It's all yucky and grey and rainy here, so I'mma zone out for a few. See ya tomorrow!

Love,

Again? Really?

Yesterday I had lunch with a friend who I've known since Buddy was in preschool. Her boys went to the same school. Unfortunately, she is battling breast cancer and has already had a mastectomy and is on her 2nd round of chemo, but she is the most gracious, vibrant sick person I've ever known. If you want to shout out a prayer or good thought for AW, I think that would be awesome!

Anyway, after our terrific lunch, I had to head up to the Mart for some groceries and a prescription. So, I tool around to the pharmacy first thing (if I don't, I will forget and check out without it). So, we all know how this usually goes for me.

I'm standing at the sign that says I'm next. Patiently waiting for a clerk to come to the front and assist me. I'm next, right? Hohoho.

No. This woman walks up on my left(outside the queue area), and asks, "Are you waiting on your prescription?" I said, "Yes." and she proceeds to pull her cart right up to the counter IN FRONT OF ME. I'm thinking "Holy shit! I think the Universe wants to drive me mad."

Still, I stood quietly and let Granny Clueless get her angina medicine or whatever. Maybe she was in a real hurry for her asshole cream, because it was itching real bad. I don't know....

I must have a sign on my forehead that says, "Doormat".

So, if you need a prescription real quick, wait 'til I'm in line. It's your lucky day!

Love,

I Love A Bargain!

OK, so yesterday, I mentioned the LivingSocial deal I saw in my email for a super eye exam/glasses place (same place I got my lovely glasses, that I do love). They weren't cheap, but you get what you pay for in most cases.

The Evil Twin didn't need the deal, my next appointment is in February, but I can't even remember the last time Buddy had his eyes checked. Since he was born early, he did develop Retinopathy of Prematurity and had laser surgery on both eyes - he was home from the hospital, but still only weighed 4lbs, 4oz. The surgery went well.

At 18 months, we learned that he would need glasses. We've been dealing with his vision his whole life.

This deal was too good to pass up - $75 and the LivingSocial deal offered an extra $189 for the full package.

The lady who helped us find frames selected several. One frame, Buddy really liked and they were being discontinued. Regular price: over $300.00. Our price, even with the lenses: FREE. Of course, I added polybicarbonite lenses with the Transitions and Sharpview. That put us a little over our free limit, but then I remembered I had a $50 credit at that store for my glasses being not on time as promised.

I used that credit and the total balance, from $428.00 came to $88.00. (don't get all flustered at the original price - Buddy has a very unusual prescription and often the lenses are several times the price of the frames).

They even tightened up his current pair, so they wouldn't slide down his nose all the time! Now, that is service!

The new pair he chose are so light-weight, it's like picking up a feather. Plus, they are gorgeous and they really fit his face just perfect.

The sales girl tried to get him to try on a pair with thicker frames...LOL. He said, "I'm not even trying those on." We both laughed at the BC glasses (birth control glasses - so fugly, no one would want to date you).

We will definitely be back to Ramsey Eye Care and I think we'll have to get Daddy to switch too. They are just too wonderful!

Have a wonderful Friday, my sweet hooligans and enjoy your weekend!

Love,

Who Told Winter It Was Welcome?

Yesterday, it rained like a monsoon and was also kinda chilly. Today, the temps have dropped into the mid/upper 40s and that makes ETW want to cry.

Here I am, this poor child from the deep South. (Okay, we weren't poor, but most Southerners kinda have the same mindset). I almost never wore shoes if I wasn't going anywhere or had school, etc.

I still rarely wear shoes, even outdoors. But, when the weather cools down enough, I reluctantly pull out socks and my "winter" pair of shoes. I only have one pair - Land's End Hand sewn mocs (which they don't make anymore)and I've had them for about 10 years? Maybe longer? I think tennis shoes are horrific and I'm not too keen on other cold weather shoes.

Yesterday, despite the monsoon, I wore my Mickey Mouse Croc-Flops (like flip flops, only with Mickey Mouse heads on the front - bought at Disney World). There was a load of standing water, so I could feel the water swishing under my feet. It made me laugh.

I think when the weather gets crappy and I can still have a smile on my face, it's all good. But, today, I had to wear my cold weather shoes. A Southern girl can't take it when the temperature is below 50. That's just not even right!

Unfortunately, I still have to make one more trip out and about this afternoon. The Evil Twin will be picking up Sissy from school, while I take Buddy to a much needed appointment at the eye doctor. I got this amazing deal from LivingSocial.com. And, it's the same place I went to get my "I'm blind and can't read up close" glasses. They're awesome and the deal is even more awesome!

Y'all should check it out and see what great deals are available in your area. This is the first deal I've purchased, so I'll let you know how it goes!

Until then, sweet hooligans, enjoy your Thursday - even if it is rainy and cold and not suitable sandal wearing weather.

Love,

The Pharmacy

Need I say more? Why, yes. Yes, I do.

I had to stop by our friendly neighborhood Kroger to pick up two prescriptions I needed.

I stood at the sign indicating where patrons should wait until the party in front of you is finished with their transaction.

Finally, it was my turn.

As I approached the counter, so did a guy who might have died in 1974 and no one informed him yet. That, or he was due to be reincarnated as a parrot because that's how close he was to perching on my shoulder.

I kept giving the clerk the hairy eyeball and then moving my eyes to the right (where Mr. No Clue stood breathing down my neck).

She really wasn't getting the hint, so I raised my voice and said, "Boy, howdy! I'm glad my medicine came in. Now, maybe I won't have another occurrence of my herpes."

At that point, she seemed to "get it" and asked the dude to step back a bit.

The most absurd thing is that he only had a refill to drop off - which is a window around the corner from the pick up area.

There are TWO signs posted about patient privacy. One is about 4 feet from the counter. The other is directly ON the counter in front of the register.

Oh well, I got rid of my little shadow and all was right with the world. Until next time.....

Happy hump day, hooligans.

Love,

Casa Evil Twin

It was a pretty exciting weekend around here - by our standards, anyway.

On Friday evening, the Evil Twin's younger sister (by 2 yrs) turned 50 and her BFF for life threw a surprise birthday party for her at a local restaurant. It was loads of fun and we were able to catch up with so many people we don't see that often. Even the Evil Twin's younger brother (by 4 years), his wife and their daughters - our two very lovely nieces were there. They live a few states away, so it's always a pleasure to spend time with them.

Buddy is a year younger than the oldest niece and Sissy is a year younger than the younger niece. The kids had fun running around the restaurant together. This restaurant has an outside deck on the river, so I allowed some running around - normally, they sit in their seats for the entire meal. It was more of a beachy/party feel, so I wasn't too strict. :-)

On Saturday, the family came by our house and hung out for a few hours. That was nice.

Sunday, we decided a trip to the Target was in order. Buddy needed new tennis shoes (in a serious way) and Sissy needed a few new pairs of jeans that weren't high waters.

The previous week, when I picked up Sissy from school, her teacher told me that she had been called into a meeting with the 5th grade teachers. She was asked to read them a book (a cold read - not one she had seen before), and she only stumbled over one word. The next day, I asked her teacher what prompted this and she said, "Oh, we just wanted to show her off." LOL. That girl loves to read (she's 5). I think she's well on her way to being tested reading at the college level by 2nd grade, just like her Momma.

I'm not sorry I let her eat 2 Moon Pies for breakfast this morning. That chocolate coating probably has milk in it, right? :::shrugs::: The way I see it is: If they're eating - anything - it's better than nothing.

When I was a youngster, and a very picky eater, my pediatrician told my mom, "She will not starve to death. If her body craves it, then let her have it." He was a wise man. And, also from the deep South where we like to eat any number of odd things.

Well, hooligans, this is my motto for Monday:

Love,

A Gnauisance

Every year, around this time, we are plagued with gnats or fruit flies or something really bothersome. I guess with the cooler weather, they want to find a warmer place to try to get lodged in my eyeballs. Or up my nose. Or be consumed in a glass of wine when I'm not paying attention - hey, it's protein, right?

I cleverly set up my little "wine traps" when I see more than one in an area. Like me, they can't seem to pass up a little sip o' the hooch and then....BLAMMO. They're drowned. If ya gotta go, that's a pretty good way to check out.

After all, don't they only have a life cycle of just a few weeks anyway? Just long enough to get nasty with each other, then spawn other little gnats to make my life a living hell.

They seem to be particularly interested in me. Seriously, I feel like Pig Pen from the Peanuts comic/cartoon. And I shower daily your majesty (any guesses what movie that line comes from?).

I guess it could be worse. Yuckier critters than gnats. In our old house, every Fall brought the plague of lady bugs. Our sliding glass door looked like the fly room in Amityville Horror. I sucked up those stinky, rag tag intruders with my vacuum, then immediately threw the bag out.

It probably doesn't help our cause in that Buddy leaves a number of soda cans lining the dresser in his room. The trash can is RIGHT NEXT to the dresser, so we have not been able to determine where the disconnect is between placing the cans out in the open or placing the cans in the trash receptacle.

My kids are smart ones, but I wonder sometimes. Gnats and fruit flies love sticky, sweet syrupy type meals. It's safe to assume those flying little bastards will be willing to cut a bitch just to be the first to get inside those cans.

I'll keep setting out my little wine traps. Lord, I hate that I have to share my meager wine stash with bugs, but it has to be done. Maybe by November, we'll be a gnat free zone.

Have a happy Friday, hooligans! Enjoy your weekend. :-)

Love,

Missing: My Motivation. Have You Seen It?

I don't know when I saw it last or even the location where it might have gone missing.

It seems like everything and nothing are going on at the same time. Know what I mean?

I just need to find my balance in life again. And, I'm working on it. I tend to be a bit on the borderline anemic. It's been that way as long as I can remember. With both pregnancies, I was told to take iron supplements. With Buddy, I bought the supplements and he was born the next day, so I didn't even get a chance to get started on that.

With Sissy, I took a prenatal vitamin, an iron supplement, folic acid supplement (I can't even remember how much, but it was several times the average need..."Advanced Maternal Age" and all that good stuff, ya know.), progesterone, 2 injections a day of a blood thinner and a baby aspirin.

While I do not enjoy being a walking pharmacy, I did whatever I could to get her to full term. [For those of you not aware, Buddy was born at 28 weeks - 2lbs, 5oz - due to a semi-rare blood clotting disorder that was not diagnosed until after his birth]. Besides being a snotty sullen teenager - normal - he did not suffer any long term ill effects of his early arrival.

Maybe I need to get back on those iron pills. Who knows? I have a doctor's appointment next week, so perhaps I will find out more. There will be blood work involved and a gallbladder and liver ultrasound. Good times. Good times.

I really don't care what they do or what I have to do. Getting a bit of energy back would be really nice! Dontcha think? I'm old enough to be a granny, but seriously! I shouldn't be acting like one! LOL.

Well, my house needs my sorry lackadaisical ass attention for some cleaning, so I will bid you happy Thursday, my hooligans - hope your day is more productive than mine! :-)

Love,

2 Day Vacation of Sorts

The kids were out of school for Columbus Day on Monday and then, they were also off Tuesday for.... I don't know. Teacher planning day? I'm really not sure. I just go with what the calendar says.

I'm a flaky mom, at best. I do try, but I'm so tired all the time. Often, things will get put on the bottom o' the list.

I have a love/hate relationship with school. I like it because I can get things accomplished during the day. I hate it because I have to get up early and get the small fry ready for school. Buddy does most of his own stuff, except I do get him cereal in the morning because it's faster if I do it. Sissy is much more labor intensive and mostly not very cooperative. That's when I start to lose my mind.

Luckily, I can get her ready in time and myself semi-ready in time to make it there before the tardy bell. (All my life, I have hated being late for things...it hasn't changed since I've gotten older).

Speaking of being older, last night I was sitting in the lobby area waiting for Sissy to complete her dance class. I started to chat with the mom next to me and I asked what her daughter's name was. She told me and then followed up with, "It's from the XXXX song. My mom named her." I said, "Oh, yes, I am a child of the 70s. I love that song. I was born in 1968."

And then....she said it: "So was my mom!" Seriously?

Suddenly, I felt much older than my (very few) 43 years. PLUS, her daughter is a year older than mine. OUCH.

Despite the age difference, we had a lovely conversation and even exchanged numbers, with the hopes we could get the girls together for a playdate. Neither of us live in neighborhoods where small children are common, so it makes sense to set up a weekend day where they can play - either indoors or out.

It was nice having a few days "off" my regular routine, but I am exceedingly tired today. And, I'll be thrown off my schedule for a while. But, it's one day closer to the weekend. Yay!

I hope all you hooligans have a lovely Wednesday and I'll C U 2morrow! (hee hee).

Love,

Reading is FUNdamental

Both of our children have been read to since they were tiny babies. We practiced ABCs with them both early on as well.

I am not the best parent in the world. I plopped both of them in front of the TV when they were small. However, I DID try to find the most educational shows. If I couldn't find anything educational at the time, I didn't feel like Spongebob would send them to therapy later on. I'm not a censor and the way I see it is: It's okay to mix in some fun with some learning. It can't always be reading, math, science, etc. Children also need to sharpen their sense of humor.

That will get them a lot further in life on a social level than memorizing the entire string of Pi.

As a child, I was Contessa Nerdleroy, but I also had parents who let me stay up late on Saturdays and watch Saturday Night Live (in the early 70s, when it was actually good). And, my mom never went thru a grocery check out line without buying me the newest issue of MAD magazine. ("Only 50 cents!"). Heh.

It's really no surprise to us that both children have been accomplished readers early. But Sissy, she really blows us away.

Naturally, the second child gets the shaft when it comes to attention, so I've done the bare minimum to try to keep her at or above her age level in learning and developmental behaviors.

She is 5. She can read things that she has A) Never seen before. B) Never been read to her by an adult and C). Mastered words that she has never been coached on by us or her teachers.

I'm not trying to be braggy, but it does make my heart feel good when my kids do well with whatever happens to catch their interest. That's what it's all about: Do what you love and love what you do.

If you have an extra moment and are so inclined to check it out, our own Jeff Kay from the West Virginia Surf Report offered me an opportunity to guest post on his site this week (today, in fact), since he is on vacation. I was nervous as hell, but I managed to plop out something resembling a post (nothing WVSR worthy, but I tried).

I'm so glad it's Friday, hooligans. Aren't you? I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend and I'll see ya soon!

Love,

Life: She is Complicated, My Friend

Why is it that life can never be just "it is what it is" all the time. It seems like I have the most unpredictable things pop up. And, I love the predictable.

This year has been very difficult for me. I haven't had to shuttle a child to school in the morning for over 3 years. Now, I have to take Sissy in, because her school starts an hour later than Buddy's school. The Evil Twin drops him off and then continues to drive to his office.

So, I valiantly face and fight the morning cluster of the DOZ (the "drop off zone"). It's a madhouse.

Yesterday, we were all off for the "special election" for Governor, and then today, we're right back in the thick of things with the madhouse adventures.

I received a call from my sister-in-law this morning (she's married to the Evil Twin's younger brother) to let me know that our mother-in-law is in the hospital. My SIL didn't have many details, but I could narrow down the most likely hospitals to just 2. My second call (hospital #2) was the one.

The initial thought is that she has diverticulitis and may need colon surgery. Apparently, she has been there since Monday. Check it out: this is WEDNESDAY. The only reason my SIL and her husband found out was because my SIL had sent her an email and hadn't had a reply.

Do you think that MILs husband could have called any of us? I stay home, my SIL is at home and the Evil Twin's sister is also at home. There is no excuse for not trying to contact even one of the three siblings. Smooth move, Ex-Lax. We won't forget this.

I have to go and plan out the rest of my day. I hope all my hooligans have a happy Hump Day!

Love,

Weekends Go By Too Fast!

Luckily, we do have an odd "Special Election" day tomorrow, so all state employees are off and the kids are out of school (the polls are set up in the public schools).

Of course, the Evil Twin and I will be getting out to vote - as we always do. We also always see the same familiar faces helping out for our district, so that's kinda fun.

This past weekend, we had many errands to run. So, Saturday was the day of choice (out of necessity, not out of really wanting to go out.)

First, the children both had their hair cut. Buddy looked like a hot mess. His hair was all over the place and unmanageable. Then, we have Sissy. Her hair had gotten so long, it was a chore to wash it and dry it, plus it was always full of tangles. Getting ready for school - even with the detangle spray was a chore and full of "Owwws" and much whining.

Both of them had excellent cuts and I'm really happy about the results.

Then, we had to run to the Deep Homo (Home Depot) to purchase things needed around the house - it's always something.

Next up, the Mart. Not my usual mart. Noooo. The one I hate. And, it was the first of the month, which means "food stamp city".

Don't get me wrong, I don't judge anyone or any family who needs assistance, but it makes for a rather crowded day and the check out lines were just crazy. Really, I had not had a chance to get out earlier in the week and it came down to crunch time.

We finished up in a mere 3 and a half hours overall and I'll take that as a win!

How was your weekend? Did it fly by likes ours? I hope all of my hooligans have a happy Monday - I know that's asking a lot, but just try, OK?

Love,

Rules for Teens

I didn't make this up and I can't even remember where I stole it from, but I felt it rang true and it also made me laugh.

Share this with a teen in your life:

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: They called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were: So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room..

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. *This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. *Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one..

If you can read this... Thank a Teacher. If you can read this in English... Thank a Soldier!

Enjoy! Have a great weekend, hooligans!

Love,

Why???

I just sent in the last payment on our van earlier this month. We're in possession of the title. Our Buick was an inheritance vehicle that had been paid off before we received it.

So, here we are, finally with no car payments again (we went 10 years with no car liens). Then, the shit hits the fan. Both vehicles need work. Both have very low mileage for their age, so we'll suck it up and pay for repairs until it just doesn't make sense anymore.

Then, Buddy's ceiling fan went bad. The fan works, but the lights don't. We've tried everything to fix it. This weekend, we'll be out shopping for a new fan. We also want one in our master bedroom and Sissy wants on in her room (the latter 2 rooms have crappy 2 bulb, saucer-type shades and they're beyond fugly - IMO). We also bought a new light fixture for the kitchen a while back, so we might as well hire someone out to do all four fixtures at once.

Ching ching.

We're good people. We're giving to our community, with both time and money (if we have extra). So, karma SHOULD give us a break, right?

Sometimes, it does. But, right now, we're getting the shaft on all sides.

People might say, "ETW, get off your duff and get a J.O.B." But, I found out this morning that, according to a certain early literacy test, given to Kindergarten through 3rd grade, that Sissy not only did very well, but scored "Off the chart". The administrator of the test told me "She blew me away with her knowledge". They basically only expect a beginning Kindergarten student to score a 5. Sissy scored over 60 and the chart only shows up to the 50 line. The goal for this age is to score a 25 by January. She has already passed that in all three testing areas.

I've stayed at home with both of my li'l crotch parasites and worked with them both, so whatever monetary benefits we've let go are worth it to me.

It'll all work out in the end, right? :-)

Have a happy Thursday, my hooligans!

Love,

In Da Weeds

That's me and laundry these days. So, today - like "Man vs. Food", it will be "Mom vs. Laundry". I hope I can take the laundry down and claim my victory.

So far, I have a good start.

I have my own little system. First, I sort things into piles of what they are: shirts, socks, etc. Anything that needs to be put on a hanger immediately - like the Evil Twin's work clothes - go directly on a hanger. I then sort the piles to who they belong to. Then, it's to folding and making neat little stacks for each person.

Once the stacks are complete, then I help them find their way to the appropriate drawer. That way, the family can open the closet or drawer and be all surprised that the Laundry Fairy paid a visit!

Well, this mound o' laundry isn't going anywhere if I'm on the computer. Wish me luck! And, have a happy hump day, hooligans!

Love,

Crock Pot Sunday

Beef Tip Roast and Vegetables

1 2-2 1/2 lb beef round tip roast (I used a rump roast and it was fine)
1 1/2 lbs small potatoes (about 10) halved (leave the peels on - saves time and provides nutrients and fiber).
2 med. carrots, cut into one inch pieces (1 cup)
1 large onion, sliced
1 bay leaf
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 10 oz. can condensed beef broth
3 tbsp. all purpose flour
3 tbsp. butter, melted
1 10 oz pkg frozen cut green beens

1. Trim fat from roast. If necessary, cut roast to fit into slow cooker. Place potatoes, carrots, and onion to crock. Add bay leaf and pepper. Place roast over veggies.

2. Pour broth over roast. Cover, cook on low heat for 12 -14 hours or high for 6 - 7 hours. In a small bowl, combine flour and butter. Remove roast from cooker and set aside. Stir flour mixture and green beans into cooker. Return roast, cover and cook 1 hour more.

3. To serve, discard bay leaf. Arrange roast and veggies on a warm serving platter. Spoon some gravy over roast and pass the remaining gravy at the table.

This makes a lot of food. But, my family had it polished off in a day and a half. I served it with rolls I found in the frozen section (Sister someone or the other rolls - it was in a round tin pan).

Everyone - and I mean everyone in the family loved this. That doesn't happen often. If you need to serve fewer than 4 people, I'd just cut the recipe in half. If you need to serve more, just add more and a bigger roast (you'll need more than a 5 or 6 quart slow cooker for that amount).

At any rate, you can't go wrong with the slow cooker. Chuck the ingredients in, turn it on and there ya go: mid day Sunday dinner with very little effort on your part.

Well, my beautiful hooligans, I must go. I have an appointment with my primary care physician in a bit (follow up stuff). It seems like with the kids, myself and the cat, someone needs a doctor's visit every other day. The routine is wearing me out!

Y'all have a great Tuesday and I'll see ya tomorrow!

Love,

Life is "interesting"

Last week was pretty craptacular. I had a million things to do and no time and no motivation to actually do them.

When I reach this point, the Evil Twin elevates his own mood to "asshole" status.

Luckily, I can ignore it for the most part, so I just move on.

I woke up at 7 am yesterday morning to prep for crock pot Sunday. I should have been ahead of the ordeal by prepping the night before, but I got tired.

By 8 am, I convinced myself to get the crock going. I had to cut some fat off a roast and even though I have not been a vegetarian for many years now, working with meat products still gives me the willies. There was a bit of dry heaving on my part, but I was right beside the sink, luckily and the only substance I'd had prior to 7 am was a few little sips of water.

After several hours of crocking, the finished product was not only cooked thoroughly, but also delicious.

I'll post the recipe tomorrow - it was a smash hit with the entire family (don't let it be known that I like the veggies the best!).

I have been so far behind today, I'm so tired...It's time for a shower and getting on with life in general. Buddy has an appointment with the orthodontist later. I'm sure there will be torture involved.

Have a happy Monday, hooligans! Don't do anything I wouldn't do! ;-)

Love,

Weary

No updates for today. I'm too tired.

An Exciting Vet Visit

Bella had her yearly vet check up on Monday. When I called to make the appointment, I expressed some concern about her stools (poops). I then asked if I could just bring in a sample rather than have something shoved in her poo hole (gotta be traumatizing, dontcha think?).

Because she uses the toilet, I knew I could get a nice clean, litter-free sample. They said that was fine. She's a morning pooper, so once she did her poopy bizness, I took a ziploc bag and a plastic fork (What? You think I'd use my own silverware?) and got to work.

There was a good sample right at the front of the bowl, so that was my target. I tried to scoop it up with the fork tines, but it rolled off and got away from me. I decided a more aggressive approach was needed.

So, I speared it like a pickle. But, then half of it broke off.

In my head, I thought, "Screw it." and threw the poo in the baggie. Then, I put the baggie into a brown lunch sack and put it away until appt. time.

Meanwhile, she had to do a number one. I saw her get into position, so I grabbed a small plastic cup with a lid and figured I'd provide them with a urine sample as well.

The pee went right into the little container, I snapped the lid on it and put it in the brown bag beside the ziploc of poo.

I couldn't help but think "What has my life come to?" I'm turd wrangling and sneaking up behind my cat while she pees for a urine sample? The daggone vet's office should be paying ME for doing all the dirty work.

Instead, Bella was given a few shots and a clean bill of health and I walked out $93 poorer.

For a $40 cat, she likes to spend our money.

At least I don't have to buy litter! :-)

Happy Wednesday, my precious hooligans. I think I figured out my computer "attack site" situation, but would you all let me know if you're still getting it? You can email me at eviltwinswife@gmail.com - or if you're on my FB list, you can send a message to me there....I guess that is IF you read this despite the stinky "warning".

Love,

Obsessions

I decided to take a break from housework and trying to fix my computer issue - take my mind off of things for about 10 minutes or so.

I find myself doing that a lot lately. I'll start a task and then get bored with it after 15 minutes, so then I move on to another task and do that for a few minutes. It might take me a bit longer, but it all gets finished eventually.

Anyhoodle, I noticed when I was sorting the clean laundry this morning that Sissy has a really large stack of panties. Like, I wouldn't have to launder her bloomers for quite some time - she has enough to hold out a while. Then, it hit me. I'm obsessed with panties.

With Sissy, I'm not talking anything provocative or racy.They're all age appropriate and full coverage.  But, if I see a pack that has interesting patterns, colors or (God Forbid) "Hello Kitty" on them, I am powerless to just keep walking. BOO-YA: right into my cart!

I'm the same way for myself. If I see a pack that are cute, cute, cute - then I'm gonna buy, buy, buy. I mean, really, isn't that something all of us couldn't have enough of?

At least I'm not like my one sister in law - I have three: 2 are sweet and I love them with all my heart. One is as dumb as a box of rocks. She's so lazy, she won't actually DO laundry. When she runs out of undies, she just goes and buys another pack. I don't know what happens to the neglected dirty ones (:::shivers:::::).

I cherish ALL of mine and wear them until they are falling apart from being washed so often.

Then, I go out and buy more, to boost morale for the others in the drawer (no pun intended). Maybe they won't think of their fallen comrade with a few new panties to mingle with.

I must get back to folding, etc. I hope all my hooligans have a great Tuesday!

Love,

If I Was a Hacker, I'd Start With Hacker Losers Body Parts

Somehow, I've pick up some bad code or something and now my 3 readers are getting a warning that this blog is an attack site.

Thank goodness I have a friend who is much more tech savvy than dum-dum over here (that'd be me). If I can follow his directions - which I'm sure are absolutely fine, but we have to factor in "user error" there (again, that'd be me), I hope to have a resolution at some point today.

We'll see.

Until then, I leave you with this iconic image of a man I have loved with all my heart and soul since I was 2 years old:

Love,

A Quiet Day

Finally, I have a totally quiet day. That doesn't mean I'm not busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest, though.

I really don't mind many aspects of housework. You know what I do hate? Making phone calls to get things straightened out, or to get some needed information. I usually get transferred 5 million times (exaggeration - that's how I roll) and then on the last transfer, after having explained myself 5 million times, I get cut off.

Story of my life.

The Evil Twin and I both needed to have our cars checked for potential problems yesterday, so we dropped the van (mine) off and used his for the day to run other errands. Shortly before 3, the garage called and said my van was ready! Yay!

On my way home, I have to turn left onto the main road going to our neighborhood. It's a 4 way intersection with stop lights. I had the green and started to turn until some crazy bat ran the red light and made a left right in front of me. Thank goodness I wasn't going very fast or I would have hit her.

By the looks of her, I'm pretty sure she died in 1974 and no one ever told her. It reminded me of one of my favorite jokes:

Two elderly ladies were driving around town. Ethel was driving and Myrtle was a passenger. Ethel ran thru one red light, but Myrtle didn't say a word, she was just glad they weren't hit. Then, Ethel ran thru a 2nd red light. Again, Myrtle kept quiet. Then, Ethel ran thru a 3rd red light and Myrtle couldn't take it any more. She said, "Ethel, do you realize you have gone thru 3 red lights?" and Ethel replied "Oh, am I driving?"

Shortly after we all arrived home, the Evil Twin and Sissy decided to make a trip to the Mart of K. It is situated in a large strip mall area with plenty of parking and several other handy stores. He was in the turn lane to enter the lot when some lunatic drove over the curb and into the grass, as if that was the entrance. He said it was someone in a Buick similar to ours and I'm almost positive that Ethel who ran the red light was also in a Buick (it was a 4 door sedan of some type). I'm almost positive it was the same lunatic.

Whoever was driving had to back it up, back into the road while all the other vehicles had to wait for "whoever" to get out of this ridiculous pickle.

You get all kinds around here..... Never a dull moment. I'll take that, as long as I'm only a witness and not involved in the crazy.

It's laundry day here, so I must tend to my work. I hope all my hooligans have a lovely Thursday! (I'm still working on the error message mess....hopefully I'll be back to normal soon). :-)

Love,