Monday, April 30, 2012


I looked at the school lunch menu yesterday and realized that May 24th is the last day. Typically, the last day is sometime in early June. But, we only had one snow day this year (and the county builds those into the schedule), the kids will get an early Summer break.

Good for them, I guess. LOL.

It'll just be more crunch time for me to get things finished - you know, the usual variety of chores, appointments and whatnot that are easier for me to do by myself.

Yesterday, the Evil Twin took Sissy to see the "Chimpanzee" movie. Sissy asked why I didn't like theatres and I said, "Because I seem to have an "Idiot Ray", so the most annoying movie patrons can find me and sit in my close proximity." I did not add, "Which makes me all stabbity and feeling a desire to kill them."

OK, I would never kill them, but I might make a scene. I'm good at that, y'all.

Anyhoodle, when they returned from their little outing, the Evil Twin informed me that there was a family behind them who did running commentary on the film, said "Awwwauh" every. single. time the little chimp Oscar was shown (about every other frame) and also remarked about the "bad tribe" of chimps by saying "Oh, no!" or "Uh oh!".

And, I am vindicated! I will enjoy the movie when it comes out on DVD in the privacy and silence of my own home.

Although, the Evil Twin said he had seen his fill of chimpanzee vaginas and buttholes, and that he also enjoyed the part where the larger chimps ran across a group of smaller monkeys, then plucked one out, tore it apart and ate it. That's nice for the kids. I'll have to hide my eyes for that scene.

I'm SO glad I stayed home! :-)

Have a great Monday, hooligans.


Friday, April 27, 2012

Friday Fun

Last week, the Evil Twin had to buy a new lawn mower. We are on two lots and the front is very steep. He wears soccer cleats and has to use a self-propelled mower to then spend about 4 or 5 hours getting the yard into a golf course like state. We have more yard equipment than most professional landscapers.

Anyhoodle, the mower gets major usage. And his died weekend before last. OK, this is not something we can just shove to the side. We don't want our lawn to look like our neighbors across the street - the "man of the house", from what we hear, has a bad back. However, I guess his back is okay when he is tilling up a large area in the front to plant flowers and construct a rock retaining wall.

Then we have the neighbors on the other side. The house was purchased by a contractor at least 2 years ago. The folks who live there are renters. The home itself is only partially remodeled and the "yard" is a hot mess. In the process of this remodel, our fence that runs in behind this home is destroyed. We've been assured that it will be fixed, but come on! There is a quarter of the house that still lacks siding. The "yard" is not maintained. I call the city (along with a few other neighbors) regularly, but the deal is: they'll send the contractor a notice of fines, but if he makes even a tiny effort once a month, he skates.

They can let their property go to seed, but we won't. So, the Evil Twin has his new mower. He hasn't used it yet because it's been rainy around here for a bit.

Since he got a new mower, I decided it was time for my own new mower. For the carpets and floors. That's right - a VACUUM! Now, our Electrolux works fine, but it was made in 1985. It's a canister, which I like, but it's also kind of bulky to lug around. I'm used to it, but I hate that every time I use it (almost every day), I end up banging up my shins trying to get it to different areas.

My ingenious little brain decided Momma needed a new house toy. Here I sit.... My Dyson DC39 canister is on its' way today!!! And I'm gonna put that bitch through its' paces. How you like them bird feathers, Dyson?? The hardwood floors? Area rugs? Porcelain tile? Berber carpet? And, let's not forget the cat hair!! Oh, you are in for a treat! I can't wait 'til it arrives! I'll let y'all know if it meets the ETW's standards on appliances.

I'm also going out to lunch today with a beloved friend. She works at a very swanky restaurant in town. I've never been to it, so I'll have a little adventure trying a new place. I can't wait.

It's a good way to kick off the weekend! And, I hope all my hooligans have a great weekend, too.


Thursday, April 26, 2012

An Interesting Week

I honestly wonder when I will have a week that isn't like a three ring circus. I probably wouldn't know what to do with myself. Yesterday, the schools were on an early dismissal. Don't ask me why...I still haven't figured it out. But, I also had to be home for two service calls and also be ready to pick up Sissy by 1P. Buddy was having some issues with his laptop, which is still under warranty (Thank Ghandi), so I had to wait on the tech person to come by to fix it and then, I had to wait on someone to swing by and look at a home repair job that is out of the Evil Twin's or my skill set. By the time I met with both parties, I didn't have time for a shower before I needed to pick Sissy up from school. I was already exhausted from Tuesday (Sissy's dance makes me INSANE), so I wasn't really of a mood to deal with much else the next day (Wednesday). Today, I'm finding it most difficult to rustle up any motivation whatsoever. Don't get me wrong....I have a good life. I just get overwhelmed when too many activities seem to stack up and often overlap each other. Sometimes in life, you just have to suck it up and deal with it - and I do, but that doesn't mean I have to necessarily LIKE it. I keep on keeping on. Even if being in bed with the covers over my head sounds much more appealing. LOL. After all, the world might stop spinning on its' axis if I just threw my hands up and went to live in a treehouse out back. Sure, it sounds appealing, but I like indoor plumbing and hot showers (with mega water pressure - I don't enjoy taking a shower that feels like the water gods are merely just spitting on me). I'm just slightly spoiled to "Happy Shower Time". My exasperated parents sent me to Summer camp many years in a row and then I also lived in the Marshall University dorm for a year, so I know a shitty shower when I find one. The Evil Twin removes all the "low flow" valves from our water sources. If we're paying the bill, then we want a good amount of water. A pox on whoever came up with the low flow shower heads and made it mandatory. I fart in their general direction!! Welp, that being said, I'm headed off to my good shower time. I hope my hooligans are having a great Thursday! Love,

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Something New? Again?

Those of you who use Blogger have by now noticed that "they" have changed the whole set up. Again. Now, I have to learn this new system. Have I mentioned that I am a busy person? I've had my "smartphone" for a year and a half and still haven't read the entire users manual. The manuals for my cameras? Collecting dust. Thanks, Blogger. Thanks a lot. I suppose I'll get used to it just like everything else new that falls into my lap. But, dangit, I don't have to be happy about it! I feel like so many things are just trying to get under my skin lately. Nothing terribly bad or end of the world type stuff, but things that make me have to juggle my routine and sometimes, I have to leave a few things undone. Like the ol' blog here. If my day has any variables, then I have to shuffle stuff around and most times, that means leaving things in the dust. Do I blog or get to the grocery? The family likes to eat. Do I work on laundry or blog? I can't send the crew out naked. I don't mind my lot in life - I actually enjoy it. I just don't enjoy having to re-arrange my schedule at a moment's notice or for what ends up being a total waste of time. I didn't do a damn thing this weekend, since my birthday was Sunday. Around here, we don't do anything elaborate for birthdays or anniversaries, etc. The birthday person has the final say, but it's also diplomatic - everyone can throw in their own thoughts. Birthday person can agree or veto or come up with their own plans. I wanted a relaxing day. That's what I had. And, it was wonderful! We watched a movie. The Evil Twin went out to pick up lunch and the birthday girl's bottle of wine. But, it was back to the regular routine on Monday - or not so regular as I would have liked. New and confusing Blogger. Time wasted on an important detail in life (I'm not going to discuss it - it's nothing bad, but we had an important appointment and a no-show of the important person we had arranged to meet). Good Ghandi! Why can't people just DO what they say they will do? So unprofessional. I'm outta here. Laundry, vacuuming and kitchen detail await my most inspired assistance. Have a great Tuesday, my hooligans and we'll chat soon! :-) Love,

Wednesday, April 18, 2012


I didn't have a chance to post yesterday because Tuesdays are my "cram 10 pounds of potatoes in a 5 pound sack" type of days.

It didn't warm the cockles of my little heart any that yesterday also seemed to be "How many cars can pull out in front of ETW as she goes about her business". I was cut off so many times, I lost count.

When I wasn't being cut off, I managed to get behind a gaggle of morons.

One car had what appeared to be an elderly man at the wheel. I'm pretty sure he died in 1972 and no one told him to go to the light. They just propped him up in the car and put a (very lightweight, apparently) brick on the accelerator.

Another genius practically came to a full stop on a 4 lane road while trying to maneuver into a turn lane. TURN LANE. That's what it's for. You don't Turn from the left hand lane if there is a perfectly good turn lane right beside you. Signal left, then move into it. Then you can stop and wait on traffic to clear before you make that scary, scary left turn. Moron.

How do people pass the driver's test when they have clearly either A. Not read the handbook or B. Perhaps skimmed thru it and promptly forgot everything?

It all started out around 8A when I was taking Sissy to school. I dealt with a handful of seriously stupidity.

Later, Buddy had an appointment with the orthodontist. I like to make the appointments as late in the day, so he doesn't miss much school. So, I went and picked him up, then I had to go to the bank and drop something off and then, I had to pick up Sissy from school.

She gets out at 3 and his appointment was 3:20 in downtown Charleston. That's at least a 20 minute drive, depending on traffic and/or random idiots who have no business having a license. So, I picked her up about 20 minutes early. I mean, who would pick her up? We don't have family nearby and I don't really trust anyone else.... Sometimes, I just have to go with the flow. Do the best I can, y'all.

Then, at 7P, Sissy had her dance class. My van's gas meter thingie was all beeping at me and I was running on fumes. We left a little early, so I could fill 'er up (to the tune of $52 and change!) Thank goodness I don't drive much, so a once a month trip to the gas station is my typical MO.

Add to that, Sissy's dance class is loud. They have two separate classes that night, so the (different) music is blaring. They have Tap, Ballet and then Modern (Jazz). Sissy likes to take her shoes into the room and do them herself. Some of the other girls need help or can't tie their laces, etc. This means that when they move from tap to ballet, dozens of little dancers run out, using their loudest voices...this happens for 3, count 'em THREE shoe changes during the hour lesson.

I have to sit there and listen to the chaos. I take my Kindle and try to read, but can't concentrate. I hate idle chit chat with people I don't know well, so that usually goes over like a turd in a punchbowl.

I've already invested $230 in recital costumes (aka: Junior Hooker outfits) for June, so we'll stick it out. I think Sissy wants to do Karate next year. :::Sigh:::

I'm going to a spa event this afternoon at the place where I had the chemical peel last week...They're giving away prizes and junk and if I get something free, it's for ME! Love freebies. Maybe I can relax after that.

Have a wonderful Wednesday, my hooligans!


Monday, April 16, 2012

Saturday Special

My long time readers - I think that's about 5 of you - know that on Saturdays, we treat ourselves to fast food/carry out...basically something I don't have to cook.

We're very diplomatic and take a vote on the various choices nearby. This past Saturday, it was unanimous for Chinese food. Mmmmmm.

I am usually given the task of calling it in (and attempting to communicate with whoever answers the phone. Generally, it's not too tricky, but I do wish I spoke their language.) And then, the Evil Twin runs down the street to pick up the food.

As I was looking over their new menu, I noticed that the prices had gone up. But, really, for all the food you get, it's still worth the greenery. I still have enough of my meal leftover for about 3 more meals.

I typically get the Hunan Bean Curd (that's a spicy dish with veggies and tofu - DON'T JUDGE ME. Tofu is good!)

Anyhoodle, we ordered a virtual boatload of food and proceeded to eat it all weekend. There's still plenty in the fridge, too.

Buddy is not a super picky eater. Sissy is more reluctant to try things. She is especially suspicious about vegetables, but it warms my little heart to see her wolf down the spicy broccoli "in the shiny sauce." as she says. I think she means brown sauce (probably Hoisin). She also digs the rice and the teriyaki chicken... Frankly, I can't even bring myself to look at it, much less smell it.

I went by the K-Roger last week. I had to pick up a few items they had in their sale circular and I also picked up a beef brisket. I'm sure the other shoppers were amused hearing me say, out loud, "GROSS!" and "Eww...I have to touch this?"

When I was checking out, I even made the cashier look at it and asked, "How disgusting is this???" I do not enjoy going to the grocery, so I can at least amuse myself to make up for the painful situation.

For example: At the pharmacy, I have said - very loudly - "Hurry up with my herpes medicine!" I save that one for when other patrons are breathing down my neck and obviously want a date with me. How 'bout some privacy, jerk?

Happy Monday, hooligans! It's a beautiful day here - I hope you all have a sunshiney day!


Friday, April 13, 2012

Stranger Danger

Don't know why, but it just feels like it would be never-ending. I'm always so tired. It doesn't matter how early I get in bed, I'm still just worn out by the daily grind of getting the kids ready for school and maybe or maybe not making lunch for the Evil Twin.

Maybe it's what is going on in the local news here. Apparently, there is a white van cruising our little burg and other towns nearby. There have been several attempts to physically snatch children outside their schools.

I worry because Buddy walks home. It's only half a mile and he generally has at least one friend, if not a handful, walking with him. That makes me feel better.

But, I gathered both kids last night and told them what was happening. (I've gone over this with both of them before, but a bit of reinforcement can't hurt).

I asked them, "What do you do if someone you don't know, a stranger, tries to lure you into their car or even gets out and puts their hands on you?"

Buddy had the best answer. He said, "I would yell something I can't say in front of Sissy or you and then start running."

I said, "Good job! You both have my permission to yell, scream, hit, kick, bite or whatever. Pee your pants if you have to or spit on them, just do the grossest thing you can think of and then run in the other direction." I also tell them, "If we get separated at a store or whatever, you find a Mommy with kids, or a grandmotherly lady or a police officer."

Bud has a cell phone, so he can call the police or me. Sissy is driven to school and picked up by me. I watch her like a hawk until she enters the building (they also have a crossing guard and the principal is almost always out front in the mornings).

I still see lots of little, little ones walking to school and then walking back home every day.

Buddy started walking home last year. For the first few months, I would look out the bay window, all nervous and whatnot until I saw him come up the street.

I've calmed down a bit, but I've been known to get in my van and go looking for him if it's past "the usual time" he arrives home.

It's sad we're forced into being helicopter parents these days, because there could be some pervert or scumbag behind every bush.

And it's not just that. A week or so ago, an 8 year old in the next county over was hit and killed by an SUV. He darted out in the road, the driver couldn't break fast enough - totally an accident, but it gives me one more thing to worry about.

I'm glad I had "the talk" with my 2 little rugrats again. Hopefully, it's only a matter of time before the po-po pick up Mr. White Van Man and the trash is taken off our streets! It pisses me right off!

Happy Friday, hooligans! Enjoy the weekend and I'll be back Monday. :-)


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A Report on the Skin Peel

I got my super cool chemical peel facial done yesterday and it wasn't painful or irritating at all.

In fact, it was rather relaxing. The Cosmetologist and I were fast friends - we seemed to have so much in common. They're having an "open house" type thing next Wednesday and are giving away door prizes every 30 minutes.

I REALLY want to go. Goody bags? Door prizes? Food and wine? Think I can coerce the Evil Twin to be my taxi? Maybe he can take Sissy for a haircut and then take the crotch parasites out to dinner - there's a Logan's nearby the haircut place and my little heatherns love to throw peanut shells on the floor.

It's almost like the way they treat the couch as a trash can. I've stopped wasting my breath and just clean it up myself.

Now that I'm all happy and my face feels great, I think I'll do a little research. I have quite a list of things I want to know more about....I also have housework to do, but it'll be there - still - in another hour or so.

My motto: "I'll get around to it." And, I do. Eventually. :-)

Have a wonderful Wednesday, hooligans!

Love you all,

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Longest Spring Break Ever

The schools were on Spring Break last week and then, the kids were off yesterday as well.

It's been a really looooong week and a day! Phew! I'm just happy to shuffle everyone off to school and work. Well, the Evil Twin worked during the break....but, Buddy and Sissy had a grand ol' time sniping and fussing with each other.

What's a mom to do?

I tried to tune it out and took several naps on the couch daily. I barely lifted a finger on housework, but much like herpes, it's always still there, and now I have a HUGE list waiting on me.

But today, I am going downtown to get my face peeled off. A chemical peel to be exact.

I don't know what I've gotten myself into, but on, it was such a bargain, I couldn't resist.

I just called the office and asked if I should arrive without makeup (my kabuki face takes time, y'all). I was told they would just remove it anyway. My remark? "That's HORRIFYING!"

Great Ghandi, I hope I don't run into anyone I know.

I don't take a shower first thing in the morning because the Evil Twin and Buddy use our upstairs bathroom to get ready and they have to be out the door earlier than me taking Sissy to school. So, I always look frightful when I drop her off...but, I always get out of the van and walk her to the crosswalk.

I DO try to tame my hair and I always wear lipstick. And, I also wear real clothing (not PJs or sweat/lounge pants - a bra and a clean top, I don't wear slippers, but prefer sandals when it's warm enough. Otherwise, it's my Land's End Mocs). They don't make the style I wear anymore... Sad. That's how long I've had them.

I have lots of shoes from when I used to have a paying job, but all I wear these days are these:

Or these (similar):

Wish me luck, hooligans, as I travel into unknown territory to get my face peeled.


Thursday, April 5, 2012

Good Times....Good Times

Spring break is going along better than I had anticipated.

It has rained nearly every day, but it comes and goes. It's not a complete disaster! Yay!

I have to get crackin' and DO some stuff. Every day, I've been doing little things her and there, but I really need to get in gear and git 'er done.

I've been watching that "Larry the Cable Guy" show at night and as annoying as he can be, he is also redneck funny. I can always get behind redneck funny. I'm not funny and I'm only a couple of notches off "redneck", but I get it.

Alrighty, then, hooligans - it's time for me to get in the shower (at nearly 11:30A) and get moving for the day. The kids get a Spring Break. Mommy just gets more work to do. And not enough sleep to perform all the tasks.

If I had a bed with sheets and NOT a four foot pile of laundry on it, I'd be all over that mattress. Alas, I must clear and sort and fold and put away, so I'm offa here.

Have a happy Thursday, hooligans!


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Spring Break

It's Spring Break for the kiddos, so I may or may not be around much.

After all, listening to them bicker about minutiae is soooo much more interesting than doing housework or checking my spam email.

It's 10:30 A and Buddy is just now waking up - after two attempts from me to get him out of bed...Oh, to be a teenager again (NOT!).

Sissy was up at the ridiculous time of around 7:30A. Why, WHY can't she sleep a bit later?? I don't know, but it makes me even crazier than normal. When Buddy was a little thing, he would stay in his bed and call out to me, "Moooommmy. Moooommy." Until I would go in his room and say, "Get up already." LOL.

Sissy feels a need to tell me about every time she has to use the bathroom and she gets out of bed at least 4 times a night to tell me something insignificant.

I still have all week to "enjoy" their presence.

Have a happy Tuesday and wonderful Spring Break, my hooligans!