Monday, March 31, 2008


I didn't really check my email address where my comments are sent yesterday and I rarely ever check older posts for new comments unless I see them in my inbox on my email site. But, I did check it this morning when I woke up and found that someBOT had posted two lengthy and offensive comments on older posts.

I have deleted them and I'm not really taking it personally, as we all know the spammers have computers that comb for keywords, then leave nutty shit behind at all kinds of places. I'm not the only "victim" I'm sure.

However, now I feel a need to do something about it. I can reject anonymous comments - but I have close friends and a husband who doesn't have a blogger or Open ID account and I don't want to punish them for some spammers unfortunate target of bloggers. I could block the IP address, but we all know there are proxys to get around that and I could block IPs 'til the cows came home and somewhere, somehow, a spam bot would find a way to get around it.

I could enable word verification, but people hate that (me included) or I could moderate the comments by having them go to my inbox to be approved prior to posting. Somehow or another, I don't like any of my choices.

For now, I'm just going to sit tight and see how things go. If it continues, I'll be forced to deal with it. I apologize to any of my readers who might have run across it - it was crazy, crazy ranting.

Of course, the Evil Twin was less than supportive when I tried to discuss it with him this morning. Thanks for having my back, dude.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

File It Under WTF??

The Evil Twin likes to wander off from the den (what us Southerners call the "TV" or "Family Room") and leave the TV on, blaring to whatever channel he was last watching.

More often than not, it's the Fox News channel - which is fine. I can semi-listen in and gather some newsy tidbits. When they ran a spot on this story, my attention was immediately riveted away from chatting with a friend on IM.

The guy in this story is a family man - three children - and he couldn't think of a better way to satisfy his needs? What happened to his best girl, Jackie? Or Thumbelina and her four sisters?

The Evil Twin is also sending me disturbing links every now and again - the woman who spent two years in the bathroom and when her boyfriend finally called for help, she had to be removed from the premises with the toilet seat stuck to her body that needed surgical removing, or how about this link? We're still trying to figure out if that is for real or a joke.

After reading the first story, I was relieved to find out the picnic table in question wasn't made of wood. As I said to my friend on IM, "That sure would give new meaning to the term: having wood." LOL.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Coming Soon: New Pictures

That's right. I decided that enough was enough on our slow shutter speed point and shoot digital camera. It's a nice camera and has served us well over the years, but it is becoming a bit (well, okay a lot) out of date.

In doing some research, I found this baby:

Then, I had to add a lens. A few mouse clicks later and voila! I found this:

I also got a SanDisk Extreme III 2 GB CompactFlash card to just round it all out. In speaking with one of the photography guys at The Evil Twin's office, he told me I had chosen wisely and that I wouldn't be disappointed with this camera. One of the photography guys uses his Rebel XT in the professional setting and turns out gorgeous photos.

Of course, I know a camera is only as good as the individual behind it, but I think this will be great for candid shots of the kids, vacation snaps, etc. My photography insider says the items I purchased will be as much as and MORE than I could ever need in this type of camera.

The camera takes 3 frames per second. Maybe I can even get a decent shot of Sissy with this one. So far, most pictures we have of her are simply "blurs" - she moves before the shutter clicks on our old camera.

I think we'll end up giving the Sony CyberShot to Buddy to play around with. We have the memory cards and USB connector, etc. He has his own computer running Windows XP, which was the Evil Twin's computer up until last summer when we upgraded for him.

I'm such a geek. I hope I can learn more about photography and maybe even get a little better at it.

Thursday, March 27, 2008


Today will be a hodge podge of thoughts and ideas I've had pinging around in my head for a bit. Also, I've got pictures today - you know, kind of like "Show and Tell"! Aren't you lucky?

All Click had wondered a while back what constituted "really cute sandals". Well, in the brain of a female, it's a complicated mathmatical equation. It's something like : the desired cuteness multiplied by correct heel height divided by how expensive they are (more is better) minus the percentage of the sale price. It's all about the perceived (not real) bargain we stand to walk away with (so to speak).

Without further ado, I give you my new cute sandals:

And, if you'll take notice - I think I have really cute toes too. The 2nd toe is NOT longer than the first toe, as it is with most people. The Evil Twin says I obviously have a birth defect, but I don't think so. He's just jealous.

The next pic shows a side view of the sandals. Notice what I mentioned earlier about heel height. When you're a tall girl like myself, you want to be sure you don't tower over your man of choice. The Evil Twin has about 5 inches +/- on me, so we're good.

The next photo shows our growing caterpillars. They are MUCH larger than this photo, which I only took a couple of days ago. I think they're almost ready to form chrysalids. After that happens, we have a 7 to 10 day wait until they emerge as butterflies! I'm soooo excited!

I'm sorry about the crappy layout here. I still haven't really figured out how to add pics without causing mutiny on Blogger. Let's face it: I'm lucky to have functioning brain cells, period. That's what having kids will do to your brain. It becomes like jell-o. Sometimes, it vibrates around in my skull like I'm on one of those funky mattresses in hotels a long time ago. You know, put a quarter in the machine and the whole bed shimmies. I used to think those were "rides". I suppose they were, depending on how you look at it.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

More on Showers

And I don't mean the baby or bridal variety. I'm talking about the turn on the faucet and hose yo nasty self off type. The Evil Twin and I are both uber-picky about water pressure. When Wyld visited, he used our shower downtairs - even though the upstairs one is roomier - but he commented on the good water pressure.

I had to tell him about our almost fanatical desire for finding shower heads that delivered a decent burst of water. We changed the one downstairs shortly after moving in because the one that was installed was pathetic. The Evil Twin removes the regulators out of them and then installs, so it's a sure bet the water will be a solid stream.

I have very thick hair, which requires some serious pressure on it so I can get the shampoo and conditioner to rinse out. A girl has to have her priorities, ya know?

We also enjoy hot showers, so we've tinkered with the hot water tank to deliver that for us. Energy and water conservation be damned! We need GOOD showers!

We had a little shower situation recently and had to replace the shower massage thingy from our main bath tub. The Evil Twin brought one home and installed it.

After I got out of the shower later yesterday morning, I called the Evil Twin at work and said, "That shower head's got to go. It sucks." He agreed and while I was at WalMart, I bought a different one. (I plan to take the other one back - I have the receipt and packaging - and when asked why I'm returning it, I'll say, "It was the shittiest shower I've ever had in my lifetime.").

Of course, I'm lying - the shittiest shower I've ever encountered was at a bed & breakfast we stayed at near Cass Railroad once, but the store in question doesn't have to know that - and besides, I wasn't facing the wretched fact that I LIVED at the B&B and would have to deal with the "Dribbler" on a daily basis. It was just ONE morning of my life ruined by shitty water pressure.

Honestly, if I liked crappy water pressure, I may as well hire someone to stand behind me and spit on me. I'd save on water bills at least.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Pillow Poaching

When things get worn out or simply fall apart from wear and tear around here, I repace the item as soon as possible. If it's a pair of somethings, I replace both of them at the same time - regardless of whether just one or both are in need of replacing. I like things to be "the same". You know the song and dance around here - my OCD.

I'm particularly bad about pillows in the house. Plus, I have allergies that prevent me from getting too close to most bedding materials, so every single bedding item in the house (including those on other beds in the house) are all of the hypo-allergenic nature. Just in case I might need to sleep on/with them.

So, when the Evil Twin and I needed new pillows a while back, I bought two identical pillows. Same firmness, same brand, same store, same price. They feel exactly the same. I know which one is mine and which is his - I place them in different areas of the room while changing the sheets so they don't get mixed up.

Here's the hilarious part of all this: I hate my pillow. Typically, I end up tossing it on the floor beside the bed because I prefer to sleep with my head flat on the bed.

Now, I am a bad bed mate anyway - when my parents' moved me out of my crib, around age 2, they put me in a full size bed. All by my little self. I got used to taking up the whole mattress and space and so, I still enjoy sleeping right smack in the middle of a large bed. The Evil Twin and I have always had a Queen size, which is fine for us.

Then, we have the fact that the Evil Twin is a man of sizable proportions - thusly, he is always warm and cozy at night. We've been having some really cold evenings here and I like to be snuggly, so I migrate to his side of the bed AND his pillow. I really try to not poach his pillow while he's still using it, but I can't make any promises on that.

When he gets up in the morning, I sleep an extra half hour before I have to get up with Buddy for school stuff. During that time, I scuttle over to his side of the bed and put my head on his pillow (mine is still on the floor, remember?). It always puzzles him as to why I would do this.

Who wouldn't move to the warmest spot on the mattress? A crazy person, that's who! Plus, his side and his pillow smell like him. I've always been in love with the Evil Twin, but most especially, the way he smells. I love his armpits. TMI: yes, I do smell them. I think there's a lot to be said about liking another person's general smell. I once went out with a guy (Buzzardbilly - you'll know this one) who not only had BO, but he had a freaking egg shaped cyst or boil or something on his back. It looked like someone put half a hard boiled egg (the side view) on his back and the skin grew over it. Needless to say, that situation didn't last long.

Guys - if you have anything "extra" growing anywhere, please take care of it and also, don't forget the deoderant or cologne or hey? What about soap and water???

Monday, March 24, 2008

Buena Suerte

That means Good Luck in Spanish. That's how I feel about getting my blog finished on most days. I also cuss in Spanish in my head. Any more these days, I find myself feeling (and thinking), "F**k it." I mean, who really cares if I get this mess out anyway? I guess me, in my obsessive compulsive sick little brain.

It doesn't help my mood any that this is Easter Break week for Buddy - a whole week of enjoying our time off and I actually got to sleep in a half hour later than normal. I still had to get up and pack the Evil Twin's lunch, but I woke up on my own around 7:15 ish. I find that happening more and more these days (waking up on my own as opposed to the alarm or the Evil Twin reminding me that it's time to get up). Okay, so it's spring break and the temps are registering more "winter" than "spring" here.

It also doesn't help that Sissy is about to ride my last nerve straight to hell - with spurs on. I need to get to WalMart today and Buddy is still in bed - at nearly 10 AM. I haven't had a shower yet and it's only 31 degrees outside.

The Evil Twin got a taste of "Shopping with Sissy" on Saturday. He couldn't believe how much she whines. I've learned to tune it out, as most moms do (or risk losing their sanity along with their brain cells), but it's not easy for the Dads who aren't used to the grating "bamboo under fingernails" whine of a 2 year old.

Please, if you're the praying type or just sending good vibes type: send them our way that potty training happens sooner than later and Sissy can be shuttled off to preschool for at least 4 hours a week. That's a tall order, too, people. She acts like she'd rather eat a vegetable than sit on the potty chair.

Seriously, she hates veggies. I blame myself. While pregnant with Buddy, I ate loads of salads. That's what I craved more than anything. Salads and pickled items (pickles, pickled okra, etc). With Sissy, I ate a lot of deep fried cheesecake from Mayberry's. A whole order .... by myself. Well, no one wanted to split it with me and I wasn't going to let it go to waste! I also snuck miniature Snickers bars on a daily basis. I still only gained 13 pounds in 39 weeks, but she came out like a fly. She loves the sugar.

Buddy needs braces and Sissy will probably need a boatload of dental work, too - for cavities. And, she'll probably also need braces. My parents' paid a small fortune for my mouth. Turn about is fair play, I suppose.

I'm gonna go lurk on the Walt Disney website and make myself feel better. Hope you all have a great Monday - including you lurkers from Parkersburg and Kentucky (oh wait, that's probably downfall from KY - he's "too busy" to leave a comment).

Sunday, March 23, 2008


I'm so frustrated today and I don't know why. I hate those people who manufacture teeny little Easter chocolates. They're tiny, so I grab several. Of course, tomorrow morning on the scales will make me more depressed. I've got less than a month to lose 6 pounds or more. My goal is 120.

I weighed 108 when I got married at the age of 25. I've weighed between 115 and 120 after the births of both my children. I'll be 40 on April 22 and I really just want to be back to my regular weight.

On the good news front (I guess), I stopped taking my Paxil and Ativan a month ago. I finally threw out the remaining Paxil. I hated that shit. I'm hanging on to the few Ativans I have left - just in case.

I made up my mind that I'm just not living like that anymore.

The Evil Twin and I plan on watching an episode of Dexter or two. He's behind where I left off, so we'll go back and I'll watch a few re-runs - which, in the world of Dexter, is no problemo. He could park his shoes under my bed any old time.

I am also starting to feel somewhat better about myself - Rock of Love with Bret Michaels is on TV and that whole thing is above and beyond pathetic. What a bunch. There's more silicone there than a plastic surgeon's office. OMGosh... there's some skank making out with Bret right now and I don't feel so well. I don't care how much money he has, he probably has mouth herpes too and if he doesn't - he's trying real hard to get it because I've seen him tongue every girl on this show in just about 7 minutes of viewing displeasure. Gross! I know, I know... turn it off, right? It's like a train wreck.

He's an effing tit talker too! He only talks to the girls' tits! Bret - they're FAKE. No big deal! Or maybe he's trying to save himself from looking at their blue eye shadow. Hard telling.


Saturday, March 22, 2008

Ready for the Day

Yawwwnnn! I'm up early and getting ready to get in the shower. The Evil Twin needs to take his car for an inspection sticker this AM, so he's in the shower and headed to our main guy here in a few to get that sticker.

Then, Buddy has a birthday party that is just past the Barboursville (Huntington) area. For those not from around here, that's about an hour west of us. So, we'll drop him off and get some shopping done while we wait the 2 hours for the party to run its' course. I bought the Evil Twin a new computer back in July and it runs Vista, which is apparently not compatible with our scanner. So, we'll head to Best Buy and find a scanner, then pop by Lowe's for assorted home owner needs.

With the Evil Twin's freelance work, he really needs to have a scanner on hand and it needs to be a top quality one, so a replacement is a priority. He doesn't believe in the "all-in-one" contraptions, so we have a laser printer, a color printer and a flat bed scanner at all times.

I'm ready for Easter morning too. The Easter Bunny will visit overnight and we've got eggs to dye. I also found the kids' a Butterfly Pavilion from It's a kit that comes with a butterfly habitat (a mesh net thingy) and live caterpillars in containers. The caterpillars become chrysalids, which eventually become Painted Lady butterflies. You can observe them in their habitat for a while and then let them out in the wild, where they can live out their natural butterfly lives in peace.

I was so excited when it arrived yesterday and we spent the day looking at our ten new caterpillars. I think this is a really fun activity, plus it's a learning opportunity for the kids to see the life cycle of an insect. It wasn't very expensive, either and now is the time to order one - while the weather is warmer.

The Evil Twin designed the new brochure for Buddy's school and he got a super nice Thank You note in the mail with $50 worth of Applebee's gift card. Guess where we're having lunch today? :-) YUM.

I'll try to get pictures of my caterpillars, chrysalids and eventually butterflies to post here. I think I might be more excited than my young 'uns about it! LOL.

Friday, March 21, 2008

FAQ with ETW

I had a few questions sprinkled within my more than a few comments yesterday (thanks, friends - every comment made me smile!) and I thought instead of answering them within the comments, I would answer them as part of my blog today.

It seems easier, plus I can ramble at length which is one of my strengths. Hey, if you can't dazzle them with content, confuse them with verbosity. IOW, you think I have something important to say, but in reality, I'm just a windbag. Buuuut, you're still reading aren't ya? So, let's get to business.

WyldTh1ng from Wyld's Q&A asked: Do you consider yourself a hillbilly?

A: No, not really. I'm an import to WV and even upon moving here, we lived in/near the city. I am 2nd generation hick, though. I've lived in four different states, so there's a definite "mix" of personality going on.

Rosemary from Rosemary's Attic asked: Do they still make garter belts?

A: I'm not sure about these days, but I did buy that one at a legit, upscale department store. If I remember correctly, it was Lazarus, which is now Macy's.

The picture is not really a "picture" at all. It's a video capture from a certain movie I was in many years ago (not porn, I promise). It was a video on body piercings and I received a piercing in it (above the belly button, below my neck - take your guesses). There were three segments involved and mine was the only one that had a semi-plot to it. The other two piercings were guys. One got a guiche - a guiche is a piercing of the "taint" or perineum and the other guy got his lip pierced.

I don't know about you all, but I'm guessing there wasn't really anyway to make the guiche more appealing than by just showing the dude's hairy crack. Nice guy and all, but just watching the video was closer than I wanted to be to his "exit door". KWIM?

The guy who got his lip pierced also had his nipple pierced, a guiche and a pair of dydoes (I really do not want to explain this one), which he later shows in the video. Those were all done way before the video was shot, so they were healed up and ready for viewing.

I believe I might be the only person who still owns a copy of this - and The Evil Twin transferred it from VHS to DVD for me. Funny enough, I can't watch my own segment.

Also, on a side note, I'm glad to find out I'm not the only CW out there in blogland. I suspected as much.

I know I'll blog again before Sunday (Help! I'm talking and I can't shut up!) but Happy Easter in advance. You know, in case you're just "too busy" to check in with me again before Monday.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

For A Friend

Things I Love/Things I Hate v. 1.0

This is for a friend of mine from college who is also on my MySpace. He has Wegener's Granulomatosis, which is a serious autoimmune disorder. He's an attorney in town and let me tell you, that takes a lot of time and energy. When you're stuck on dialysis and waiting for a kidney (at the age of 40), sometimes you have to count the small blessings in life. Oh sure, you could write a book on the "hates" (as he and I discussed), but it's nice to round those out with likes or loves just for balance.

Also, he is extremely intelligent and I like to read his stuff because guess what? He makes sense! My college roommate had gone to high school with him and his brother and it's hard to believe how much the four of us partied back in college and all turned out "normal" or in his and his bro's case, above average even. I've lost touch with my college roommate. Last I heard, she was in Redwood, CA. If you know Maria Zita, let her know I miss her.

He blogs on MySpace quite often. I used to - not as much these days. So, I'll take up his challenge to do my own list and then email it to him. Having an autoimmune disorder myself, I can see where he's coming from most of the time. I could "waller" in self-pity or I could be a shameless fool who laughs at myself - a lot. Typically, I pick option 2. Being a dork does have it's advantages.

I love: my kids. They keep me young... feeling, at least.

I hate: the fact that I don't get many breaks. Since my parents' both passed away, we don't trust anyone for child care, so I spend all waking moments with one or both of the rugrats.

I love sunshine and sandal weather.

I hate snow and cold. (Note to self: I probably shouldn't live in WV).

I love that my MS medicine seems to be working for me.

I hate giving myself an injection every day.

I love the moments in bed with the Evil Twin, just before we go to sleep. We'll talk about different things and usually end up laughing like loons about stupid stuff. Like last night, we both were laughing so hard we had tears rolling down our faces. The subject matter is classified.

I hate getting up in the morning - always. I might have had a good 8 hours of sleep or only 3 - I don't like getting out of my nice snuggly bed.

I love writting my silly little blog and getting to "know" so many great people over the internet.

I hate when I don't get very many comments. I'm a comment WHORE folks. Get with it!

I love weekends - I get to spend time with my whole family!

I hate weekdays - I get lonely sometimes and I have to get up too early. For those who think "Oh, she's a stay at home mom - sitting around watching TV, eating bonbons, and napping whenever possible." Wrong! I can't even get through writting here without a dozen or more interruptions.

That's all I can think of for now. It's injection time. Yesterday was particularly fun, as I had to stick myself 3 times just to find a spot that wasn't ruined and I could finish the job. So, I've been putting it off this morning. Here goes....

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

No Money Down

No Money Down

I'm gonna add a video in the next post, because apparently, I'm not intelligent enough to embed a Youtube video within a blog post. What the hell am I doing wrong? If you can offer help, it'd be muchly appreciated.

Anyway, this video is really funny - to me, anyway. The guy who plays the part of the 2nd Abe Lincoln is a man I dated for about 2 years back when we were much younger. The story he tells is true. I know the other two people he mentions, too. In fact, Johnny Puke is on my MySpace friends list. Puke is from this same area and we've known each other for eons. Same with me and my ex.

We broke up, finally, for good at some point before I turned 22. It was off and on, etc. for a long while. But, we remain friends to this very day. I spoke to him last Friday on the phone.

He was with me when I got my third tattoo and helped it move in the direction that is my tat. It was a custom design at the Pittsburgh Tattoo Convention in 1991.

We were just kids back then and we went thru a lot together, which is why I think I'll always love him in a way - even if it's not romantic love or emotional love.

He and the Evil Twin were friends before I met either of them. After he graduated from graduate school with a Master's Degree in film making, he lived back "home" for a bit. We got lucky and hired him as the videographer for our wedding. He came to the party at our hotel room later - along with the majority of the guests who were not older relatives of ours. And shot more video. LOL.

We recently transferred both tapes to DVD.

I'm proud of him - he's come a long way in his film and photography career.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


I've got three tattoos. They're all grouped together on my left thigh and if I happen to find a pic, I'll add it later.

Since last May - Mother's Day to be exact - I've been asking the Evil Twin (a designer by profession) to design a new tattoo for me. I'm thinking something upper right arm, to balance things out.

Both my babies are Aquarians. One in January, which has a garnet birthstone and the baby in February, which has a amethyst birthstone. So, I was thinking something along the lines of the symbol for Aquarius and perhaps utilizing the colors of garnet (a deep brownish red) and amethyst (light purple), although I'm okay with only black work too. I currently have a rose, but my favorite flowers are daisies, so incorporating a daisy or my kids' initials in a design would appeal to me (just put ETW in their place, since I realize most folks don't know my babies' names).

I don't do flash. Flash is the artwork you find on the walls of the tattoo shop. And, I don't do popular symbols or themes. In other words, no Tweety Birds or Taz's, no "Mom" or half naked ladies.

I'd like something in a fairly good size. I think you sacrifice detail if you opt for tiny work. I don't care how many hours I'm in the chair or how painful it is. I need to get my third tattoo re-filled anyway, so I'm looking at that work as well.
The point of this drivel? I'm inviting my readers to design my fourth tattoo. If you feel so inclined, give it your best. NO Clip Art - original work, only. You'll be in competition with the Evil Twin if he scoots off his duff and tries to work up my dream design.

I Learn Something New Every Day

Thanks to my blogging buddy, Renn, I learned yesterday that Tommy Lee Jones is, in fact, a Texan. No wonder he has that accent down! I thought he was Southern, but was too lazy to google more info. Now, I know.

That's the great thing about reading all the blogs I love. I learn so many new and interesting things every single day. It's like a really cool education without having to make it to class on time. And goodness knows, I was never very good at that.

It's also the reason why I hate to make doctor's appointments or get my hair cut. I actually have to let someone know WHEN I will show up. Being a stay at home mom means I don't have to be in a hurry or be anywhere at any time unless I damn well feel like it. Of course, real life gets in the way and makes me bend to the "rules".

We should go back to the days of house calls (including hair dressers). Y'all know I'm cheap, but I'd actually pay a few extra dineros for that service.

The Evil Twin woke up this morning with a sick feeling stomach... I felt that way yesterday but feel fine today, so I'm wondering if it's the mild version of the crud that's been going around. As long as I'm not vomiting or having any *other* gastronomical problems, I can take queasy for a bit.

So, I'm trying to decide if I want to go ahead with my previous plans of hitting WalMart today or put it off until tomorrow. If I go today, I can leave Sissy at home with Daddy. Plus, if I'm by myself, I can turn up the Hank III in my van in an annoying loud fashion and receive withering looks from other motorist. "Hmmph! Who does she think she is - some 20 year old co-ed? She looks a little long in the tooth for that!"

See? One can be both educated AND immature!

Monday, March 17, 2008

ETW Movie Thoughts

Last night, the Evil Twin and I watched "No Country for Old Men". Excellent flick. We're Coen brothers fans anyway - although we might be the only fans of theirs who do not find anything about "The Big Lebowski" to be super entertaining - or even up to par with films like "Fargo" and "O, Brother Where Art Thou?" and "Raising Arizona".

Of course, the main tip off that "Hudsucker Proxy" may not have been their best work is boldly portrayed in the title. It just sucked. They might have wanted to re-think that title.

That being said, the Coen brothers don't suck very often - and they pulled out all the stops for "No Country for Old Men" - it's beautifully shot. The scenes that were meant as suspensful were agonizingly so. I jumped several times (and had to cover my peepers a few times too - but I utilize the "slightly open fingers" method so I have a little bit of vision, but can shut it off quickly, if needed.)

The story is set in a west Texas town and along the Mexico border, and I really enjoyed listening to the "Texans" speak. Many actors nailed the accents and the dialogue was true to that region. I'm a stickler for Southern accents. I hate movies where the actors move freely from a semi-passable Southern accent to no accent at all.

Tommy Lee Jones and the gal who played Lewellen's (sp?) wife both had excellent accents. It's fun to translate from time to time. Plus, I got a few opportunities to translate Spanish to English for my non-Spanish speaking husband.

Well, that's about as thoughtful and thorough as I can be on this one without giving it all away. Orignially, we thought the movie was about 3 hours long, so we got an early start. It ended after maybe a bit more than 2 hours - however, if there had been an extra hour - I would have watched that in rapt attention too. It was that good!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Snooping and Stalking

I mean, on my site meter doo-dad over there. I love to see what kind of searches lead the blind to my dusty little corner of the web. And, after last week's posts just LOADED with interesting terms, I expected to draw in the perverts like a moth to flame.

No, I get a lot of hits from folks just wondering where the Fiestaware outlet is located (Flatwoods, WV - thanks for stopping by).

One unsuspecting reader was just searching for info on Lowe's and door installation. Poor thing. They got this post that I wrote over a year ago.

Thanks for checking that out, whoever you were. It made me chuckle to read it again. Yes, I do crack myself up. And yes, it does suck to have such low standards. (on the cracking myself up thang).

I don't want to leave my faithful readers out in the cold with no funny - unlike yours truly who still snickers about farts and stuff - I'll share one of my new LOL Youtube vids. I hope this works.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Finally - Getting to the 5 Things Meme

Rebecca from Carpe You Some Diem tagged me earlier this week with the "5 Things" meme. I'm supposed to list five things about myself and then tag five others.

1. The Evil Twin and I have been together for 16 years (married almost 15) and I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think about him. (Dexter, too, but mine and Dexter's relationship is only just new - LOL).

2. I love Summer because it allows me to wear the fewest clothes possible and still not get arrested.

3. Music makes me really happy but I'm not able to indulge in that much anymore because of my children. Most of the things I listen to are completely inappropriate for anyone under 18 to hear.

4. When it comes to decorating, I'm no Martha Stewart. In fact, I'm unbelievably masculine in my choices. However, I have always wanted a red front door. So far, both houses we've owned have had red doors (after I lean on the Evil Twin for months or years to paint it - I custom ordered two new doors last summer for this house and the exterior door was painted immediately).

5. I learned to swim before the age of 2. My dad would often go out of town on business and my mom and I would accompany him. At one hotel, we were enjoying the pool. When my dad dove in, I dove in after him and a strange man jumped in and grabbed me - screaming - out of the pool. My mom had been reading and when she looked up from her book, the guy said, "She looked too small and I thought she was just monkey see - monkey do after her dad." My mom said, "Throw her back in. She can swim."

Okay, there ya have it. I'm only half awake so it's a boring list. I don't like to work my brain cells too hard first thing in the morning.

I have such an amazing list of blogs I read everyday there on the right, it's hard to pick only five. I'm going to tag: Ron, Tiff, Renn, Carolyn, and Rosemary. That was harder than the list of five things. LOL.

Anyone else who reads and would like to participate, feel free to poach the idea. And let me know if you do... well, I'll be visiting anyway, so I'll see it eventually. Love, the Evil Twin's Wife (aka "The Stalker"). Happy Friday, lovlies!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Furthering My Education

Warning: this post contains some seriously twisted information - things I wouldn't normally discuss on here, but having a sick sense of humor, I'll indulge some people.

Okay, Ron mentioned the Rusty Trombone yesterday in the comments and The Film Geek asked how I acquired my knowledge of the Dirty Sanchez. So I figured today was a good day to reveal that information.

I think both terms were mentioned in the movie "Strangers With Candy", and the show (which used to air on Comedy Central) was so irreverent, I wondered if the terms used were for actual acts or if they were mentioned because they just sound hilarious.

I Googled them. Oh, the links I found! My brain seared with my new-found knowledge. Not only did I find those two terms, but I found plenty others as well. What I find most shocking about this discovery was that (aside from the Rusty Trombone), I seriously wondered about the sanity of a dude who would attempt the Dirty Sanchez and what low self esteem bimbo would allow it to happen. Not I, said the Evil Twin's Wife. What's more, the acts have to be at least moderately commonplace if someone thought to attach a name to them, wouldn't you think?

I don't have many hang ups in life, but certain things are just off limits. And, as I stated yesterday, I've seen, heard and read more than my fair share of shocking depravities. When I first met the Evil Twin, he had a movie called "Butt Boys Have Lunch". Yep, coprophilia abounded in that one. Plus, one large, leather clad gay man "gave birth" to a Bert (of Ernie and Bert fame) doll out his ass. It wasn't a tiny plastic doll, either.

None of this is to say that this sort of behaviour is what the Evil Twin finds erotic, but in our social circle, the bearer of the most shocking toys was the winner.

Ok, so two years ago-ish, I'm reading these websites just chock full of interesting terms. My best friend (who is a gay man) stopped over around the holidays and being my age and all, I decided to run these terms past him to see if I was the only person in the dark about this. Well, he said he hadn't heard of the Dirty Sanchez or the Rusty Trombone, but when I went into detail about them and described the Rusty Trombone, he says, "Oh! I did that one once!" Oh, really? "But on the receiving end." That makes that thought in my head SO much better! Thanks!

Oh - and if you're still curious and you haven't hit Google yet, here's a link to the Wiki definition of the Rusty Trombone:

And another link, for those who really can't stand being out of the know:

I didn't write anything involved in either of the two links provided. I'm just giving you value added service to your blog reading experience, should you desire it. NSFW. Not safe anywhere, I'm afraid. Read at your own risk. And preferably not around lunch or snack time. You've been warned.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


The homepage that pops up when I sign on to the internet is I read the headlines as I am quickly veering in a different direction (usually MySpace or my blog or other blogs I read). From time to time, something will catch my eye and being OCD curious, I'll think, "Oh, brother, I just got to check that article out, it sounds nuts." Or, whatever - but I'm compelled to read some of this junk.

Yesterday, I stumbled on this article: 4 Kissing Techniques You Must Master. Now, I am not a failure in the kissing department, but it's like I said, the headline alone made me think, "I wonder if I'm missing out on something." You know - I didn't even know what a Dirty Sanchez was until a couple of years ago and it's not like I just fell off the turnip truck when it comes to the bizarre and often unacceptable world of sexual perversions.

Did I just say that out loud? Ummm. sorry...

Anyway, back to this article. By the time I reached the end of it, I threw up in my mouth a little. Trust me, if I pulled any ONE of these four techniques on the Evil Twin, I would probably be staring down the barrel of divorce court, not any hot future action. And vice versa. I'd wonder what pod person had taken my husband and replaced him with some sap.

Thank goodness I haven't got a romantic bone in my body.

Is there anyone who thinks any of these actions is cute? Or romantic? Help me out here, would ya?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

More About My Weekend

I took Wyld to a local Mexican place, Rio Grande. It's similar to a lot of Mexican places I see in many states. I was disappointed because he had wanted something kinda "local" and all my regular haunts were closed (remember, nothing is open on Monday around here). I was really hoping for Mayberry's, Diehl's or Aubrey's, but they're all closed on Mondays. Rats.

When Wyld was here, in addition to being fascinated with our driveway, he also inquired as to whether our fireplaces were working ones. I said that as of Tuesday morning (the next day), they would be because I had made an appointment with the Chimney Doctor to check them out, clean them and let us know how to operate them.

He (the Chimney dude) called last night and had to reschedule my appointment for Wednesday. Which is only one more day and that's okay.

Of course, the weather is starting to clear up and that means we probably won't get to test out the fireplaces this year, but we'll be all ready to go by next Winter. (crap, I hate to think about that).

The one thought that will keep me uplifted this year is that I'm planning a trip to WaltDisneyWorld for June of 2009. I know, call me crazy, but I want to really research the parks and the rides and shows and get a semi-decent itinerary in line. I've heard you have to be vigilant about a trip to WDW because there are so many things to do and see, you'll never get even a small portion of each park seen if you don't have some prior planning involved.

I was tagged by Rebecca at Carpe You Some Diem for a meme that I will get to this week.

I also remembered on Sunday evening at about 11 pm that I had missed the episode of "Dexter". I spoke to Buzzardbilly yesterday and knowing she's such a fan, I mentioned it, hoping she could fill me in on the details. Well, being the lovely person she is, she's going to loan us the Season One DVD from Showtime! How's that for a friend indeed?

I'll probably get so excited, I'll watch the rest of the season in one sitting -it's that good, people. Plus, BB told me there is a hot, hot, hot sex scene in episode 5, which will definitely be cut from the CBS prime time airing. I'm a perv, so I'll watch the Showtime version. Hee.

Monday, March 10, 2008


I wanted to take my digital camera to lunch and I totally forgot it. Unfortunately, Wyld left just after lunch and didn't return to Casa Evil Twin. He did take a pic of our driveway (it's unbelievably steep, but ya know, unless you're a Rockefeller, you don't live on a flat lot in WV! LOL).

However, he called to let the worrywart Mom in me know that he arrived back home safely and when I spoke to him, I gently urged him to return at some point and spend more time with us.

Now, anyone else who wants to come visit, the guest room is available. :-)

A Wyld Time

Wooo hooo! Wyldth1ng is at my house! That's right - he drove all day yesterday and arrived at Casa Evil Twin later in the evening. The Evil Twin and he and I stayed up mucho late talking and talking. It was so much fun. Who could imagine someone you only know thru blogging could be so cool and fun and wonderful?

Plus, my guest room actually has a guest! Does that rock or what?

I'm up - at the crack of dawn, as is typical for my life and I plan on taking him out to lunch later today. Wonder where we should go? I would take him to Mayberry's, but like almost all businesses in our little town, it's closed on Mondays.

Well, I must go. My friend, Wyld and I have a lot of chatting to do. I'll get the digital camera out in a bit, too and get pics. :-)

Friday, March 7, 2008


I'm glad it's Friday. Don't know why - I just am. Buddy's Easter Break is coming up in a couple of weeks and that's always a nice little vacation from the school routine.

Also, we're heading into mid-March, which in WV doesn't really mean much. It has snowed here on my birthday (late April), so anything is possible, but I'm hoping that warmer weather is on the horizon. I'm so ready to get out my Spring/Summer clothes and get a chance to wear my really cute new sandals.

A word about "Women and Money" by Suze Orman - great book and a really easy read. It's full of great advice and it helped me see some ways I was keeping myself down financially when I had the resources to turn that around. I wish I could loan the book to every single person who reads my blog. But, since I can't do that, I will tell you that Suze has an agreement with TD Ameritrade in which if you open an account with them before the end of March and put at least $50 a month into it for 12 consecutive months, TD Ameritrade will give you $100 at the end of that time, in addition to the regular interest you earn on the account.

This is a great deal and so, if you're interested, get the book (you need the special code to take advantage of it) and open your account prior to 3/31/08. I did and it was super easy. I guess I could just give out the code, but that would kind of be like cheating, wouldn't it? This book has been out for a while, so you may be able to find it at your library. I got mine from Amazon and it wasn't very expensive.

However, now that I'm finished reading that - in addition to two other books I had ordered - it's time for me to hit the library myself for some free reading material. Perhaps I can find an hour or two tomorrow to go to the library - by myself - and browse in peace. Wouldn't that be nice?

Sissy doesn't care much for naps anymore so I rarely get a quiet moment to myself - ever - during the day. I can't even eat lunch without being pestered. I'm lucky that Noggin has some quality programming on now so I can do this blog. LOL. I wouldn't trade Sissy for the world though! She makes me laugh too much. :-)

Being a stay at home mom does have it's perks sometimes!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

MySpace Rule

Women & Money

I'm reading the Suze Orman book "Women and Money" right now and I must say it's quite motivational. Especially for me, as I tend to ruminate and agonize over every little decision - more than usual when it comes to money, even.

I know plenty of marriages where the husband is in control of all the financial affairs, particularly if the wife is a stay at home parent. In our household, it's kind of the opposite. The Evil Twin works and I manage the finances. I pay the bills, make financial decisions, etc. I maintain our insurance information too - health, car and home - even though our health insurance is through the Evil Twin's work. He brings home the booklets and forms and I'm in charge of reading it all over and deciding what option is best for our family. I then fill out the forms and he signs them and drops them off at work.

In fact, during the last open enrollment, his HR person complimented him on being the only person who had filled out their forms correctly. He had to correct her and tell her it was the wife who did the paperwork! Like I said, I'm a sucker for details.

In reading Ms. Orman's book, I am feeling more empowered to do something about our cash money that just sits in a money market account offered by our bank. The interest is pathetic, so I plan to open a new account today with a different institution - which offers far more interest. I also paid off all our credit card debt, which wasn't much. I finally realized spending more in credit card interest than you can make on a money market account is just plain dumb. I'm better off getting rid of the debt, then applying the payments I was making to my money market account paying US interest instead of the other way around.

I highly recommend this book, even if you have a pretty good handle on your finances already. I've been doing ours for 16 years, but have often been paralyzed by fear to invest or change anything and that has cost us potential money (interest). Plus, I've learned more about IRAs and Roth IRAs too - which is one savings option I did not have much knowledge about previously.

I'm not finished yet, but I can tell I'm going to learn a lot more about money by the time I wrap up my reading! Off to open a new account!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008


I spent a lot of time online last night and read all my best blogs and left comments on many. I'm now enjoying my first lunch - a cheese omelet. 2nd lunch will be around 3 pm and it will be a bowl of Special K. I'm trying a modified low carb diet thingy, plus exercise. I've lost a few pounds just this week alone. I hope I can keep it up until April 22 - the day I turn 40.

Our house has 2 den (or living areas). One is upstairs and that is where the BATV (big ass TV) is located and where we spend the majority of our time. The other one is downstairs. It also has a TV and comfy chairs. I'd been wanting to add a futon/sofa there for a while, so we have extra sleeping areas if we ever have a mess of company over.

Last year, when we had the carpet replaced downstairs, we took an extra bedroom down there that had been utilized as a play room - however, almost no one ever played in it, so we reclassified it as a guest bedroom and moved our old Queen sized bed (still in great shape) to that room and bought ourselves a new Queen bed for our room.

So, I found an excellent futon and a deal on Overstock. com. I got a discount for being an honorary member of Club O (I guess I bought enough last year, they gave me a complimentary membership) and free shipping. I'm so excited and it should be here today! That will give us room to sleep at least 4 more people, if the need should arise. Hey, you never know.

Plus, I found a really cute bed-in-a-bag set from Overstock and ordered that for the futon. So, it's got a set of sheets and matching comforter for whoever would like to snooze on it! I'm so thrilled. We've never had a guest bedroom, nor did we have room to really accommodate extra guests. I just feel better that we have it, even if it never gets used (but I hope it does - anyone wanna come hang out with us???)

The Evil Twin is looking forward to the futon for himself, so he can get all comfy and watch his movies on the TV downstairs. Sometimes, he watches Japanese movies or other foreign films I'm not interested in and he also tries to be considerate of how much gore I can muster to watch and if it's particularly horrific, he won't watch it upstairs where I might catch a glimpse of it. Score one for the Evil Twin being considerate. :-)

It's gloomy and rainy here today, but I don't have any plans other than picking up the kids' from school and taking Buddy to the barber shop for a much needed hair cut. It's nice to have a day of down time every so often. I'm just going to inhale and enjoy my day.

Monday, March 3, 2008

I'm Sorry

I'm so sorry that I've been behind in commenting on my favorite blogs - I have been reading, but it seems like I don't have time to respond, too. I hate that.

I've been pre-occupied with many little matters and I just don't function very well when I tend to get caught up in the details of everything else going on in life.

It's like my super-anal control freak function goes into overdrive and I want to micro-manage every facet of my life. Which, in turn, makes me more introspective than usual and usually much busier with my lists and planning and scheming and plotting, etc. It's the way I've been all my life, so I don't see a change any time in the near future.

Having a handle on things (even if it's to the point of distraction for everything else) makes me feel comfortable and in control.

In fact, I'm over here right now compiling my grocery list, while also planning the vacation we want to take in the summer of 2009. How sad is that? Don't answer - it's rhetorical.

Sissy and I are getting ready for an afternoon shopping trip to the Evil Empire (Wal-Mart). Should be fun. Especially since yesterday and today are the first few days of sun we here in WV have seen in weeks. That usually draws out even the most reclusive roach like people to do their shopping, too.

Have I mentioned how much I hate people recently? It's a good thing some pharmaceutical company manufactures Ativan. Yes, mighty good indeed.

Wish me luck as I brave the big outdoors and the WalMartians. I've only had 3 cups of coffee this morning, so I need to visit the potty before we venture out. :-)

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Welcome to the D List

And by that, I mean when we went shopping today I got a new bra. 36 D. Sheesh. I knew the Jugs of Fury were popping out of the 36 C I had been wearing, but let's get real here - I'm a tall, but slender person. What happened???? Oh well, the Evil Twin thinks it's just great.

To make up for my disgruntled attitude, I found the cutest sandals ever and they only had ONE pair of size 7s, so I just had to get them, ya know?

It was the only thing I got for myself all day. I found a few cute outfits for Sissy for Spring, the Evil Twin found new fat man pants and shirts and after all the crazy Kohl's mess, we went to Sam's (the exclusive club, according to Jeff at the WVSR - LOL).

I love Saturdays at Sam's. It's free sample day. And, even though we'd just had lunch at the I-HOP and I was full as a tick, it didn't stop me from being shameless and sampling several freebies. Yumm-o. I didn't have any dinner, nor have I eaten since then - and that's been since about 2 pm. I am FULL. :::Burp:::

The Evil Twin and I just finished watching "Hard Candy", which is a film starring Ellen Page (of "Juno" fame). This was recommended by DonutBuzz and I believe also the Film Geek. It was an amazing, thrilling, bite your nails type of movie. The Evil Twin unfairly had pegged it prematurely as a chick flick - he was completely blown away by the complexity of the film and just loved it.

I have to log my time on my exercise ball this evening - otherwise, lunch at I-HOP will ruin my dieting efforts.